Awww Shucks (file under a crack up job)

Anatole France once wrote; “What can be more foolish than to think that all this rare fabric of heaven and earth could come by chance, when all the skill of art is not able to make an oyster!” How very true.

As an Irish Scot whose family grew up in the heartland of Canadian Oysters (the east coast and no we don’t need to debate it) I was destined to enjoy oysters. Now while I say this I am aware of the fact that many of my brothers and sisters won’t go near seafood. But when you grow up in a family like mine (five boys and three girls) you learn that those subtle differences in food tolerance, awareness and enjoyment are the beautiful gift which, when growing up, let you have that one more bite without any sort of guilt.

I love Oysters. I always have. But the caveat here is that I only love RAW oysters. Sure I know that there are purists out there who will try to convince me that there are many more beautiful ways to eat an oyster but for me there is nothing more beautiful than slurping back a raw oyster and feeling the rush of the ocean as it courses through your veins. Tasting the changing of the seasons and the tide as readily as most people drink a coke. To some this may sound like an over stylized or romantic view but I assure you, if you’ve eaten as many oysters as I have, you will come to know that every delicious morsel on the half shell is a vibrant and dramatic voyage into the depths unknown which must be felt and internalized through your taste sensations.

So a few weeks ago we had a party that had a manned oyster station. As we have a restaurant that also does oyster shucking at the bar I thought it might be a good idea for me to start showing that I can shuck oysters as well. So how exactly do you shuck an oyster?

First off I would say that it is important for you to have a proper place to shuck oysters. First make sure that you have a steady place to do it. I would also recommend having some kind of riser to take you off of the surface. I use a block of wood.

Hold the oyster firmly in one hand and the oyster shucker in the other. Use a folded towel to place the oyster into so that you do not jab your hand and inflict massive amounts of pain on yourself also take note that the shell ridges are sharp! Slip the shucker blade between the top and bottom shell right by the hinge on back.

Run the shucker all the way around the oyster until you get to the other side. You will find that it takes a great deal of patience and understanding to find the right point. Some oysters just don't take kindly to people sticking knives in their shell. Be brave and put some muscle into it, but be careful - this is where you'll cut or stab yourself.

Using a twisting motion, pry the top and bottom shells apart. Be gentle but firm so you don't lose any of the liquor inside.

Cut the oyster free from his shell. He'll be connected by a tough knob on his underside; slide your shucker under and sever it. You can either go to the trouble of setting down your blade and using a little fork to pick the oyster out, or you can do like the natives do and just scoop him with your shucker and pop him in your mouth. Drink the liquor out of the shell.

One of the best Oyster shuckers I have ever met is Patrick McMurray, not only is he a fun young chap but extremely knowledgeable in the field. Check out his restaurant next time you are in the mood for some great laughs and even better Oysters (http://www.starfishoysterbed.com/ ) , trust me you won’t be disappointed.

So at any rate, the first party that I had to do it for was some electrical contractors at some type of industry event. Of course just like anything else you have the ones that know, the ones that don’t and the ones that pretend to. I usually tune out the last category but that is true in everything I do.

I had approximately 1200 oysters to shuck that evening. I set up my station. Grabbed my garnishes and set about liberating those slippery suckers from the shell. (I use the term liberated about as loosely as George Bush does when speaking about Iraq)

One of my greatest treats that night was that I got to introduce oysters to two very different people. One was a lady about fifty years old. It was pretty easy to convince her to have an oyster and once I had cracked one and gave it to her she looked at it for a moment. Asked about the proper etiquette and then down the hatch. She was a pretty easy sale.

The other was a young man, maybe ten years old, who was totally repulsed by what I was doing. He asked all kinds of questions throughout about a two hour period. He then came over and said that he wanted to try one. I asked him to pick the one that he wanted and then over the next few minutes explained to him where they came from and what I was doing to it when I jabbed it with the shucker. At every step I stopped so that he could see exactly what was going on. Over the course of the next five minutes he hummed and hawed and wasn’t sure if he would do it. I looked at him and admired his excitement and told him that I would do it with him. Sure enough, shucked and ready we downed that oyster and he started jumping up and down as excited as a kid at the end of the school year right as the bell went. It was a lot of fun.

The other party I did was about 800 oysters and was for some type of regional managers meeting of Toys’R’Us. I had been shucking Malpeque, Caraquet, Beau Soleil and Pacific Tigers. One of the men there (who falls under the third category I mentioned earlier) tried to tell me that Malpeque’s (pronounced Mal Peck) came from the lovely Mal P Cue Bay. It took everything in my power not to laugh out loud.

As well I’ve taken to calling Pacific Tigers Lil Kim’s because they fight back and are a pain in the ass to crack open. All in all though a lot of fun.

Oscar Wilde once said; “The world was my oyster but I used the wrong knife.” Are you using the right knife?

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

The Release Method (file under JACKASS)

To my loyal readers I apologize that I have not been able to write. This past week was a six day hurricane of activity and it prevented me from not only writing my blog but also writing many of my daily butcher paper poems. It really affects my mental state to not be able to download all the stuff that I have inside my head. AND BELIEVE ME THERE IS LOTS! As a result this blog post will cover the last few days and get you caught up on my whirlwind dream chasing adventures. Have you figured your dream out yet? What are you waiting for?

So I walked into work and handed over the piece that Head Chef had asked for. It felt awesome to have an accurate record of what I am after and why. Many years from now I look forward to looking at it (as well as my love, my kids and everyone else. It will be prominently displayed at ONE of my restaurants).



The release method… I was prepping something for one of the sister restaurants, Meatballs in fact. I took out what I thought was the mixture and tried to roll it. It felt weird in my hands and had absolutely no staying power. I tasted it and was still unsure what it was. As a result I walked over to Chef J and said that I was having a problem rolling the meatballs, was there something I could do. He looked at me with astonishment on his face. If you’ve ever seen Roger Rabbit you can imagine the face by thinking of the part where the Judge’s eyes pop out and his mouth drops to the floor. Ends up I was trying to roll the mushroom mixtures used for crustini and gnocchi. He just started laughing and I walked away. So a few hours later Head Chef comes out from his office with Chef J in tow and starts asking me a few questions. I could sense that Chef J had told him and I prepared myself for an onslaught of “Napalm in the morning” variety. Head Chef let me know that if I ever confused meatballs with mushrooms again… well you get the picture. But the public humiliation of it ensured that I learned the lesson quickly. Moreover, as Head Chef walked away he asked Chef J to teach me the release method.

Quite simply the release method is to put your feet should width apart. Bend the knees. Place your hands squarely on your thighs, drop your head down and then quickly pull up. Thus, releasing your head from you ass. In this case MY head from MY ass. This incident also spawned the first nickname that has stuck at Reservation for me; Meatball! It still makes me laugh now.

I also came to the realization that most of my life I’ve looked at things a certain way. It was wrong. It was a skewed worldview that affected everything I did, everything I said and the way that other people thus perceived me. It is easy to become jaded in this world. There is so much going on. So much negativity. I fell victim (largely because I am hugely empathetic) to that skewed worldview. Rather than looking at the good, I would focus on the bad and the ugly. As you all can see though I have snapped out of that and instead focus on the positive. As I wrote this week there are numerous ways to look at a situation. If you focus on the good the bad will just go away and slip from your mind much faster than you think.

I’ve decided that I must live for today. Last year C and I made a trip to Europe. In Linz, Austria we came across a massive piece of art that caused me to start thinking. You’ll see it below;



Think about what this says. It took me finding myself to truly get it. Over the weekend we were extremely busy. Actually for the last week (as you know because I have written) we have been extremely busy. But one of the several highlights of my week was meeting Lynn Crawford (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynn_Crawford ) and Kevin Brauch (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Brauch ). Chef Crawford is one of the most talented people in the culinary field. Period. It makes it all the more sweet that she is a woman (for me anyway). Kevin Brauch is just a standup guy and I can hardly wait until we get to share a drink again.

In the past week I learned how to filet a fish. There are two basic types of fish. Round fish and flat fish. From a round fish you are going to get four filets and from a flat one only two. I also learned how to make a lobster bisque and so much more.

For the competition that both Exec Chef and Head Chef were part of on Sunday I was asked to prepare a lot of the ingredients for them. One of the things that I was asked to do was to cut a perfect one-quarter inch dice of apples. I started with a ruler. After a while I stopped thinking about the ruler and just focused on the task at hand. If you do this you will find that your brain and body begin to act in a weird unison that defies explanation. I am not very good at it yet but I will be.

I am now about to go and start reading Michel Bras’ ( http://www.michel-bras.com )book “Essential Cuisine.” I will blog about it later. I will write another post shortly.

Anatole France once said; “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” I believe that I am going to be a great chef. What do you believe?

Be inspired and dream big.

A la prochaine