In the weeds... Again or the pains of learning and the desire to shine!

First off C on this our 6th Valentines day, I love and miss you but grow ever more in love and appreciative of just how truly wonderful and special a woman you are. Hope you had a great day!

The day started off normal enough, stock and remi combines and starts to reduce! That was no problem.

Finally realized what I was doing wrong with my knife skills. Rookie mistake is to actually take the word chop and intuit that you have to with strength... Chop! So I'm working on my brunoise and doing a piss poor job of it if I don't say so myself. My fingers were amuck with that nervous energy that comes from uncertainty. And I have a new cut today to show for it.

Then the eureka moment, buy a good knife and it will do what it is supposed to do. Make cutting less of a chore and more of something that is easy. Sure enough my fingers found their eventual stride and though I was no Man o'War nor was I first, second or show, I certainly became more comfortable with the knife and what it could do when used properly. After chopping three litres of shallots it hit me like an anvil dropped by the Coyote. The first three litres took me about an hour, the next two took me about twenty minutes. Still to everyone there it seems like a perturbing slow sand through the hour glass but for me it was in the words of Borat; "great success..." Or at least a moderately good one for a newbie like me.

Hey I'll take small victories every day over one big score when it comes to the kitchen.

After that I was tasked with doing all kinds of little stuff to get ready for tonight. Everyone had things that I needed to tend to.

So then (here come the weeds... Cue March of the empire and my impending doom at the hands of Darth Potato) I was asked to prepare Potatoes Duchess and believe me this duchess owned my ass. First you have to boil the potatoes, then put them through the ricer, then break enough eggs to procure their yolks that you actually start wondering why the hell the chicken did cross the road anyway.

I was told that I needed to add some butter and cream. Given the fact that (remember impending doom doom da doom) I was working with about fifteen to twenty pounds of potatoes I figured about a half pound (perhaps less) and maybe a cup of cream was right. Well let me tell you. Darth potato was not impressed. The "storm" flour now was on the rise but the death potato was unleashed. Sorry for the Star Wars references but I needed a little laugh. Cue chuckle.

At any rate I learned some very, neigh, extremely important lessons from this experience. First follow instructions CAREFULLY! If you are UNSURE or even if you think you know ASK. Better to ask and not screw up hours of work thus at the very least annoying (read I'm sure if I hadn't been a rookie I probably would have been spade and neutered and then fed myself with a nice Mad Dogs & Englishmen).

However true to form Head Chef rather than berating me or belittling me lifted me up. What had taken me a couple of hours from start to disaster he proceeded to do with me again from start to finish.

If you believe in past lives or some kind of universal confluence that enables ridiculous feats, watching this man work with a knife, would conjure up images of either a wise Japanese ninja or perhaps, though not in a twisted sense, Sweeny Todd. For every potatoes I peeled with a peeler he peeled two or three with a knife. While I chopped one potatoes into fine slices to enable them to cook faster he did three. But no (at least not that I've seen yet) he can't leap over tall buildings in a single bound though truth be told I really wouldn't be all that surprised.

He then proceeded to explain each step. First running in water to drain off starch. Then boiling in two pots, the first to remove more starch and then again one more time to finish the cook through.

After that I ran them through the ricer (as I had before) and we proceeded to try and tell that Duchess bitch that this was our block. All the way along he was pointing out the texture, the reaction of the starch and sugar. It really is quite amazing to start breaking food down to its base levels.

Again another first was attempting to pipe the mixture into the desired shape. I don't know the shape name but I will get it for my weekly round up of terms. Piping, yet another skill to add to the practice file. (Read get real good ASAP though time and experience are the best teachers.)

After all that, everything was back on track and again my day improved. I started moving quickly to meet the demands of the line all the while performing my own line duty (however small) which I mention as a special Valentines Day laugh for my lover. Tonight I was in charge of the Amuse Bouche! Yes babe, that's right I WAS IN CHARGE OF THE AMUSE BOUCHE. I love you!

For those of you who don't know, an Amuse Bouche (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amuse_bouche) is a small morsel sent out by the chef to literally amuse the mouth and prepare it for the taste sensations it is about to receive. Tonight the Bouche was a leek and potato soup topped with truffle confetti. Oh YEAH!

Obviously tonight was for me, in a word, awesome (though lonely). It feels rewarding, fantastic, inspiring and I get to do the three things I've always said I wanted to do; create, implement and fix. Though I'm not really doing them yet (on my own) someday I will be.

Towards the end of the night I started cleaning and putting everything away as I do every night. I was going to go for a beer but as I have to be back at work soon (read I need to leave here in less than seven hours AND I didn't much feel like going out on Valentines without my love) I thought I'd come home and write here (or at least on my Blackberry on the way home). Plus a little more when I got home.

I did apologize profusely for my rookie mistakes and Head Chef let me know that it is far better to do something slow and right than fast and wrong (disastrous for me today my words not his). In his own way he reassured me. Both through his words and his actions. Both Exec and Head Chef are great mentors and I feel privileged.

I also let Exec Chef know how honoured I feel to be working under both he and Head Chef. With that awesome attitude he shot me a smile, shook my hand and said have a great night. We'll see you in the morning.

On that note, Charlie Trotter once said; “A jazz musician can improvise based on his knowledge of music. He understands how things go together. For a chef, once you have that basis, that's when cuisine is truly exciting.” True, thus making Exec Chef Dizzy to Head Chefs Byrd. Maybe someday I’ll be Miles!

Do something that scares you today and laugh about the fact you USED to be scared tomorrow. Be inspired.

A la prochaine.

SDM

Passion

I’ve become quite comfortable with Brunch now. I, as always, arrived early for work and started at it right away. I’ve taken to writing a little something each day I work on butcher paper. I am keeping them all and will someday publish them. I had an internal argument as to whether or not to share an example with you here and guess what; the writing won. As I have shared here, none of this would have been possible with out the love and support of my friends and family. C, especially, has been my guardian angel. She has stood by me when no one else would. She is a true marvel in the world and I am fortunate to know the love we share. Most of what I’ve written so far has been a tribute (albeit nowhere near adequate) for the love, support, guidance and little (read necessary kicks in the ass) pushes along the way. I love you C;

Finally

Finally,
At peace with myself,
The internal dialogue a consistent strife,
Keeping me from me,
Has quieted,
Being replaced by the fan fare of trumpets,
Heralding my awakening,
Signaling a bright future,
Personal,
With love as my guide,
And too personal,
As in the kitchen,
I’ve come to find,
ME;

You are my beacon,
The prism of my soul,
Without whom none of this would be possible,
As I start another day,
Stepping into my future,
Now,
I am reborn,
As too is our love,
And I am grateful.

When I write it takes me about two or three minutes to produce something like that. I don’t think about it before or during. It is more like I am a conduit and the universe, God, or whatever you would like to term it, is flowing through me. It is my fervent desire that food becomes the same way for me. Not thinking about it (as I find that we are often in the way of ourselves) but instead further building on my intuition with food. Grasping all the knowledge I can so that I can become what I’ve always said I wanted to be. A RESTERAUNTEUR.

So I set up for brunch and then ran out for a smoke as again I was in the front of house. Brunch delivers me the opportunity to come face to face with some of Reservations clientele. As I mentioned last week at brunch, again this week, one man and a woman both mentioned that I was beaming. Asking why I gave them the same answer I gave last week; “How could I not be, I’m living my dream!”

The funny thing about dreams is that everyone has one. But not everyone is willing to do what it takes to make his or her dream a reality. Taking that first step that brought me into the kitchen was not easy. BUT, the moment I put on my whites for the first time. I knew. I KNEW that I was where I belonged and since then I have been reassured many times both by others and by that once really ugly voice inside of me that now sounds like my angel (C). That voice has made all the difference in my life now. I’m no longer running away from myself. From what I want. From WHO I AM!

After brunch was over we naturally ripped it down and cleaned the kitchen. I had asked Head Chef if he wanted to go for a beer after I was done work and he said he had a meeting but that he would love to after it was over.

I went over to our sister restaurant to let Head Chef know that my cell was dead but that I was going to go over and have a drink. He suggested that I have a seat at the bar (I asked if it was okay for me to have a drink there as in my contract it says that I can’t drink at work). He said sure. I had a Makers Mark. Haven’t had one in years but just felt like it.

After that Head Chef and I walked towards our next destination. He asked about what my challenges were and was quick to quiet them. I’ve come to realize that the make up of great chef is a complicated mish mash of a million different skills. If I had to mathematically equate it it would look something like this (in no particular order);

Passion (to the power of 10)+
Drive+
Knowledge+
Intuition+
Daring+
Wisdom+
Compassion+
Strength+
Task masker+
Drill Sergeant+
Fearlessness+
Problem Solving+
Creativity+
Attention to detail (squared)+
Desire =

A GREAT CHEF!

It will be interesting to see how that formula changes over time and I out right apologize for anything I’ve overlooked. But I think you get the idea.

Of course it is Valentines this week and we will be very busy. We have a couple of really big functions as well so I will be working from 10 to close everyday. I believe that this week is going to be the closest to what summer looks like (though I may be wrong) at Reservation and I am excited to see it.

Adelle Davis once said; “We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.” What are you? What do you want to be? I can answer it. I want to be a Great Chef.

I hope you all have an inspired day and tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to write a bit about Heston Blumenthal and my feelings towards what it is he does.

A la prochaine!

SDM