Great Cause, Great Friends, Great Night (file under I Love my Life)

“Joy - noun

Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French joie, from Latin gaudia, plural of gaudium, from gaudēre to rejoice; probably akin to Greek gēthein to rejoice
Date: 13th century

1 a: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires: delight b: the expression or exhibition of such emotion: gaiety
2: a state of happiness or felicity: bliss
3: a source or cause of delight”

Merriam/Webster

I am joyful today. Truly joyful. I went to support a great cause last night and in doing so got to hang out and catch up with old friends. The event was at Reservation and when I walked in I felt amazing. I was greeted with a warmth and generosity of spirit that is yet another positive factor in my decision to join a professional kitchen.

A good friend of mine if the Director of Community Development for Project Humanity. Please visit their website at www.projecthumanity.ca. It is an amazing not for profit group that does amazing work. Last nights event was called Shirts Off and is the second year in a row that I have made it. That being said if any of you have any old clothes in your closet or dressers that you would like to get rid of please contact Antonio Cayonne at antonio@projecthumanity.ca. I can promise you that he knows what to do with all the clothes that you no longer want.

Last night I witnessed the power of intention in full drive. When I got there I immediately started loading garbage bags of clothes into the truck. Last year it was a pretty good haul but this year I was really moved. There had to be about two or three hundred garbage bags of clothes. Next year I hope that we double that as the need is so great. So please, if you can, look through your closet and contact Project Humanity.

Another great benefit of being there last night was that I got to see my friend Ben Clost and his band the Emotionally Unavailable Mariners play. It is always such a delight for me to watch this band perform. They are truly engaging and make you feel in the depths of your soul the music they perform. It was a truly wonderful night and a truly magical experience.

These are but a few of the pictures of the band last night. Again, remember the name, Emotionally Unavailable Mariners, they are truly going places.








My next post is going to be about a conversation I had with Executive Chef.

A. Phillip Randolph once said; “A community is democratic only when the humblest and weakest person can enjoy the highest civil, economic, and social rights that the biggest and most powerful possess.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired? WHY NOT? And what can I do to help you?

A la prochaine

SDM

The Grill (file under more like an outdoor kitchen)

So yesterday was my first day on the grill at The Club. It was exciting and a great cold start to the season. Cold meaning that I was not overly busy, busy, but not overly so. I had some time to figure out how I was going to set the station, drawing a station map and figuring out my organization for the station.

One of the biggest differences between the grill at The Club and that of Reservation is that it is truly a self contained outdoor kitchen. Reservation’s was really just a BBQ, a fridge and a freezer. At The Club the grill is in a shack that measures about five and a half feet wide by about fourteen feet long. It faces the lake and all the gorgeous boats that are in the water already. Within that space I have a 9 foot grill. TWO SINKS! I mention this in bold because at Reservation there was no sink, I would have to run inside or use a hand washing station. Two fridges, one a nine foot and one smaller cube. I also have a freezer. Two hot lamps, a pass, a printer for orders and two, TWO induction burners. And this is where it gets really interesting, there is a HOOD! For those of you who don’t know what a hood is it is the device which sucks the fumes and exhaust out of the area. Very handy when you are working forty feet from the lake. It truly is a stand alone outside kitchen.

So the menu that Executive Chef and Sous Chef R came up with this week is the following;

Chicken Souvlaki (all made in house), Tzatziki, Pita Bread and Sautéed Vegetables
Filet of Salmon with Cucumber Salsa and Sautéed Vegetables
Angus Sirloin Steak with Jus and Sautéed Vegetables
Fresh Turkey Burger
Back Ribs with an Apple Chipotle BBQ Sauce and Sautéed Vegetables
New Zealand Lamb Chops with Jus and Grilled Vegetable Ratatouille

Each of those items comes with your choice of sides which include Fries, Sweet Potato Fries, Baked Potato, House Salad or Rice.

Oh and I forgot to mention. At Reservation you’ll recall that I had to transport everything approximately one hundred and fifty meters across cobble stone roads to the barbeque. This was extremely annoying and had to be done twice a day. Once to set the station and then after a ridiculously long and hot day back to Reservation. At The Club it is about one hundred and twenty feet from the kitchen to my station. NO COBBLESTONES. It’s like I died and went to Grill heaven. You think I’m kidding? Trust me, I’m not.

Yesterday I did about one hundred orders. In all I prepared approximately two hundred meals. The components of which bring me up to approximately six hundred distinct items that I made yesterday from 5pm until around 9:30 pm. A great first day. Giving me the opportunity to reflect on last years experience, what this years experience is going to be and how I am going to become even better at what I do.

I think that my theme song for the Grill this year is going to be Van Morrison’s; Jackie Wilson Said. If you haven’t heard it lately I think now is a great opportunity to give it a listen because; I’m “going to let it all hang out.”

So with the first menu I have a concrete idea of the type of things that I am going to be doing for the summer menus. I am going to play a lot as I had mentioned before with condiments and sauces and I am also going to try to find interesting ways to expand and broaden peoples culinary experience. It is going to be a lot of fun. A lot of hard work. And extremely rewarding.

That being said I expect to get absolutely pounded today due to the gorgeous weather. And I could not be more thrilled. Its like a culinary drug, a super upper which makes me feel, well, effusive.

Today it is going to be 23 Celsius and partly cloudy. GORGEOUS. And it is kind of funny, those who know me know that I wear a hat each and every day. I have for almost twenty five years and it has caused my once blonde (almost white) hair to go much darker. But as I have rollerbladed home (when working mornings) I have been taking off my hate to get some sun to my hair and shock of shocks, my blonde hair is coming back. Another ancillary benefit. Now working days and being outside I expect that it will become even blonder.

So I hope that you all have as rewarding a day as I am going to. I would also like to send all my love and supportive energy to the love of my life, C, who is in her first New York City Show at Stella Adler. A sign of things to come – I think so.

Albert Camus once said; “In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

My Creative Process (file under Food Adventures)

When I originally started on this adventure I had a creative process that is very different from the one I have today. I would say that historically my creative process had been uninformed and chaotic. Not that that’s a bad thing but I’ve come to realize as I studied many of the worlds greatest Chefs that there is a much more detailed and rewarding way to create new dishes.

As a writer I am stream of consciousness and for a long time before joining a professional kitchen I applied the same process to cooking. I would go to the store or market as an open slate with little or no idea what I would be cooking that night. C has always loved shopping with me on these excursions because, I believe anyway, that there is a thrill to the uncertainty. It was exciting for me as well. I no longer, by necessity of experience, ‘fly by the seat of my pants.’ I apply a methodology which is heavily influenced by the worlds greatest Chefs. Adria, Achatz, Blumenthal, Alice Waters, Ripert and so many more. I have studied their methods with great interest and hopefully a better creative result.

I have to admit that much of my creative process is taken directly from Adria and Ripert. At the moment these are my two favorite Chefs and though their methods are different the result, on a high level, is the same, delicious and interesting food. For a great insight into Chef Adria's process look at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTuSZHO3GU8 .

The first step in my creative process is to look at (direct influence of Adria and Ripert);

Traditional Cuisine
Local Cuisine
Techniques

To date I have studied the following cuisines both experientially and through books and videos;

Classical French, Nouvelle Cuisine, Classical Italian, New Italian, Mediterranean, Cajun, Indian, Thai, Mexican, Chilean, Peruvian, Brazilian, Caribbean, Spanish, Californian, Moroccan, Irish, Scottish, Soul and Southern, German and some Chinese. I have studied as much as I can get on each of these cuisines and further have broken much of these cuisines down to the local level that is as varied as there are people on this planet. In total I would say that I have read approximately 150 books just on world cuisines making copious amounts of notes.

Thus the first thing I look at is the ingredient with which I want to play. After all, even though your parents always told you at the table not to play with your food, as a cook, I can say they were wrong. PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD. Once I have isolated the main ingredient I want to create with I then turn to traditional and local cuisines to identify the type of dish I would like to create. That is to say do I want to create a dish similar in style to Michael Guerard, meaning Nouvelle, or do I want to create a home style German Dish? Or do I want to create a spin on Pad Thai? These are but examples of a nearly inexhaustible list of dishes I have looked at.
Once I have identified the ingredient and the type of cuisine I would like to cook it in I then turn to the local cuisine or regional varieties of that dish and see how I can best use the ingredient. How I can accentuate the natural flavours of the ingredient without overpowering it? Within each cuisine there is an endless list of possibilities that you can play with.

The final step in the initial component of my creative process is to ask myself what techniques I would like to the ingredient and dish. It would take forever to illustrate all the techniques that could be applied but here is a partial list for illustration; Frying, Sautéing, Poaching, Steaming, Broiling, Baking, Roasting, Sous Vide and Confit.

Next in the process is to start looking at the traditional accompaniments. Do I want to make a traditional dish? Do I want to be adventurous and try something new? Do I want to use various components in different ways to arrive at a new result? Food is so glorious that there is an endless supply of inspirations that you can draw from.

Personally I have been exploring inspiration a lot recently. There is no end to where you can draw inspiration. I draw a lot of inspiration from my endless travels and my innate curiosity when confronted by something new. I also draw a lot of inspiration from nature, writing, music, art and architecture and culture. Recently art and architecture have been big influences on me. I do not want to be a purveyor of ‘haute cuisine’ in the vain of Alain Ducasse or Michael Guerard but that does not mean that I do not want to compose plates that are artistic in nature. I know that as I get closer to opening my own restaurant I will take some time to explore inspiration and innovation as a means of advancing my own personal culinary philosophy. This will entail lots of reading, travel and well LIVING!

When I was at Reservation I had numerous conversations with Executive Chef 1 and 2 (1 now being Director of Operations) and Sous Chef A about the creation of a new dish. With Executive Chef 1 I began to learn that there are a number of different considerations when creating a dish. From his description (and later Adria’s) I came to know that you need to consider flavours but also senses and the way that they receive the dish that you are creating. How does it smell? How does smell affect the dish? I remember seeing a show once about Achatz use of a Lavender scented pillow at Alinea and then having to send an email to him because I thought it was such a wild concept. One that was at the time out of my breadth of knowledge or experience. But it caused me to start thinking.

You also want to consider the way the dish looks. After all food is first a feast for the eyes. It is possible to just slap food on the plate and make it taste good but if you can visually impress the person eating the dish you will be able to exponentially increase the joy and wow factor of the dish for the consumer. You can play with shapes and sizes, plating, different plates, levels, colours, etc. The end result being a dish that really does awaken the senses through the initial impact of sight.

Taste is of course of utmost importance and trumps everything else. But taste is more than just umami, sweet, sour, bitter and salty. Taste can and does include the texture of what you are serving. Moreover you have to consider how the texture plays into the flavours. As well as texture (Soft, hard, crunchy, etc.) so too does the temperature affect taste and the way that the mouth receives the various tastes. It is a delicate balance of these considerations that really imparts the wow factor in a dishes taste component.

Chef Adria also illustrates that there is a sixth sense to food. It is that intangible that can not be measured. This involves as he points out the intellectual enjoyment of the food, the knowledge of where it came from, how it was prepared, the various elements, etc. It is truly intangible and possibly difficult to explain even for the consumer.

So now that I have explained the considerations I put into my creative process I want to illustrate with an example. Lets use a dish that I have started conceptualizing in the past year. It is about juxtaposition and utilizing technique and various ingredients that would not otherwise be put together. I am yet to try it but might at The Club this summer.

Smoked Salmon is one of my great pleasures. It has an awesome oily texture and a sweetness that is evocative of joy, at least in my experience. Knowing that I want to use Smoked Salmon I then ask myself; what do I want to do with it?

Due to the considerations of timing, organization, space, prep and all the other things I need to consider I thought about the various uses for it and how people most enjoy it. Commonly in Toronto Smoked Salmon is served on a bagel with cream cheese. At The Club with do Smoked Salmon sandwich, Eggs Benjamin (Eggs Benedict but instead of Peameal you use Smoked Salmon) and a Smoked Salmon Scramble Eggs. All of which are delicious incidentally. But because I am beginning to branch out in my creativity I started asking myself; what can I do that is different?

I started to consider natural pairings for Smoked Salmon which obviously are dill and cream cheese. Knowing these as the natural pairings I wanted to discover conceptually how I could use them in a new and different way without turning them on their head. Thus I thought about making a quesadilla. Instead of cream cheese I started to think about the texture of cream cheese and what cheeses I could use to replace it. Obviously the creamy cheeses are the mot natural fit because of their texture. This meant that I started to look at Brie, Camembert and Taleggio as obvious choices. Each imparts a different flavour and a moderately different texture. Personally I would like to have it with a nice double cream Brie. Though I will try all three. The next question was how to incorporate dill while not being traditional. Usually quesadillas are served with Salsa and Sour Cream. Knowing this I thought about either an avocado sour cream or a dill crème fraiche. Again I will try both.

The whole process of this conceptualization took about five minutes from beginning to end. But the concept is easy. Ideas are as the expression goes a dime a dozen. Next comes the real work. The experimentation. Trial and Error. PLAYING WITH MY FOOD. It may be that I get a better result with one Brie over another. Or Camembert. Or Taleggio. There are so many different varieties of those cheeses that it could take me months, years even, before I find the right texture and flavour that I want to impart on the dish. Moreover, I need to ask myself; how big do I want it to be? At what point do the flavours fall out of synchronicity? How do I want it to look, taste, feel?

As I start to play with the different variations I take notes as to the flavours, the way they interrelate, the effect no the senses, etc. These notes then become the way that I refine and fine tune the dish until ultimately I am happy with the result.

So this then is the way that I utilize a creative process to create new dishes and flavours. To date I have a repertoire of approximately 300 of my own recipes which are unique and will someday make it to my own menu in various forms. For the time being I continue to tweak and enhance them.

I hope this is somewhat useful to you in understanding my process.

As Chef Adria says; “Creativity means changing your mind everyday.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Blog (file under Exciting Times)

John Henry Newman in his ‘Apologia pro vita sua,’ said; “Growth is the only evidence of life.” And I could not agree more.

Today is my Saturday. To anyone outside the food industry that may sound like a weird statement but when you realize that weekends are usually our busiest times then you can understand that more often than not we are scheduled in such a way that our weekends fall when most of you are at your jobs.

The tile of my post today and the quote that I have used to frame it are the result of three posts written in the last week. The title specifically is in reference to my return to my capturing my daily experience and the quote represents what I feel each and every day. As I grow and continue on this path that I started on over a year and a half ago.

Over the next couple of days I am doing some menu development. Working on some of the items that I am going to include in my menu for the summer on the grill. You’ll recall (if you’ve read long enough) that last summer I was supposed to have the same opportunity at Reservation. The lack of willingness or inability on the part of Reservation to let me toy with the grill menu was extremely disheartening to me. While I understood, at least in part the logic behind it; that being that it was high volume and quick turnover, the whole experience left me feeling like I was nothing more than an over priced McDonalds, merely slinging food to the hungry throngs that wanted to sit and have a beer. As I remarked many times last year I developed relationships with my customers, many of whom returned each week, as they expressly told me, just to come and see me. That felt good, but it did not nearly make up for the emptiness I felt working the grill.

That is not to say that I did not learn things while working the grill. In fact, some of the lessons I learned were key to my early development as a line cook and still benefit me today. Those include understanding organization, timing, set up, pride of ownership and a few other lessons as well that were difficult at the time to choke down.

My experience at The Club so far has demonstrated that when people truly believe in you and what you are doing that they will give you the freedom to explore your own comfort zones. And unlike other places I’ve been they will not allow you to fall on your face but instead will do their utmost to ensure that you learn the lesson, not without pain, but certainly without the deepening void which can taint and corrupt even the most strong willed of people. Executive Chef and I as well as Sous Chef and I have had conversations about the grill. Numerous in fact. And with each one I feel my resolve building, my excitement at the opportunity of creating my own culinary voice and demonstrating what I can do when given the opportunity. The first menu will be of Executive and Sous Chefs design. I asked for this to be the case so that I can get comfortable with the environment, demands and the people for the first week or so.

After that time I will start developing my own menu each week. This will consist of multiple proteins. A fish, a beef dish, possibly a pork dish as well as a few specials. I have slowly but surely been building my menu and today and tomorrow (my Sunday) I will be working on them for several hours.

By doing so I will have multiple posts to write. One of which will include my creative process, the process of menu creation, what I want to try and possibly a couple of others. I am feeling quite good (despite the last few posts being on my mind) and know that I have lots to accomplish in the next two days.

As well I am excited and thrilled for the love of my life C, whose show ‘Spinning the Butter’ goes on at Stella Adler starting tomorrow. Today is about refinement and tweaking and then the show must go on. I wish I could afford to be there but unfortunately I can not. My spirit and energy are with her as I know that she will be fabulous. She always is.

With that said, I need to stop writing now and get to the work that is a ahead of me. I also have to clean the house. Which anyone that knows me can tell you, I really dislike cleaning. But I have the time and it needs to get done. Stay tuned; the next couple of days are going to have a flurry of posts. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I enjoy doing the work necessary to relate my experience to you.

Buddy Hackett once said; “As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it” My menus will feature many more choices.

Are you dreaming big and inspired? Why not? And how can I help?

A la prochaine

SDM

Day 13 of 14 straight (file under I LOVE IT!)

So I fired off an email on Friday to L’s acquaintance that had mentioned he was interested in becoming a Chef. As stated in the email I gave him a call when I got home this afternoon. When I did not get him I sent him another email asking him to get in contact with me when he is ready. I will definitely keep you posted on any updates.

So today was Day 13 of 14 before I get a day off. Such is the price of going to NYC and having so much damn fun. But unlike other times in the past when I pulled long stretches without a break I find that I have oodles of energy and am brimming with positivism as I know that every day I am one day closer to my goal.

Saturday was a very interesting day at work. As I may or may not have mentioned my morning partner was off all last week and I was alone. On Saturday my relief came in at 9 am and I pretty much left him to take care of prep and anything else that came up as I wanted to see just how well I could do the line dance. (Not to be confused with line dancing as in cowboy boots).

I have always been someone who looks challenges directly in the eye and then, to the best of my ability, knocked them out of the park. Saturday was no exception. It was a challenge that I needed to give myself in order to grow as a cook. So naturally I got there at my usual about 6:10 am and started about my daily tasks. I’ve taken on starting coffee for the servers and laying out the cutting boards for the Garde Manger as well. It is a little thing but I know that it is appreciated.

It felt great to challenge myself on Saturday. I mean really great. I managed to Tango, Salsa, Pirouette, Meringue and Waltz all at the same time. At one point I had four omelettes, eight or nine orders of eggs either over easy, over hard or Sunnyside up and about five orders of Eggs Benedict, Florentine or Benjamin all going at the same time. My body with attention to detail moved gracefully from one side of the line to the other, almost as if I was on skates, sliding down the line, dropping the plates, putting on the various components, turning around and tending to the eggs and then right back to the plates and their various presentations. It was the first time that I had intentionally put myself in the weeds to see if I could pull myself out. I could have at any point called for help and it would have been there in two seconds flat. But I refused to, I wanted to put pressure on myself, I wanted to see how fast I could turn around chits, I wanted to see if I could ensure that the food did not suffer and that I still got it out in a timely fashion. Feel good? DAMN RIGHT! It was a personal victory which revealed to me that I could handle the various stresses in a high paced environment without losing my head or my chits. I am extremely thrilled to report that I was able to turn around orders in as little as three minutes and my longest took twelve when I was getting severely slammed.

Of course because the club is all about making sure the members are always happy you can get breakfast any time of the day. This presents a certain set of challenges when you approach lunchtime. Again because you could get three or four orders on a chit, one for breakfast and the rest for lunch. Organization and timing becoming your paramount concern next to ensuring that the food tastes and LOOKS good. As 12:30 passed I was busy. I had about twelve chits up and I would say it was thirty percent breakfast and the rest lunch. Every time I got that many chits, M would ask if I was okay. I assured him I was and just continued doing what I was doing.

By the end of my shift I had worked about one hundred and forty chits which amounted to about four hundred different orders with (approximately) nine hundred different components. Did it feel good? DAMN RIGHT!

I thought back to Reservation and my experience on the grill and thought how I believe I could pull myself out now without much assistance. Yet I began to wonder why I was left to essentially hang. My relief never came as quickly as it could have and only now do I find myself wondering why in any substantial way. Was it part of the process? Was it some design that I still am unclear on? Or was it something else? I believe as I go forward I will be able to answer that question better. But nonetheless it felt pretty good to wonder about.

I am finding that I am not sleeping well. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am currently alone in my place. No roommate and no C. That will change when C gets here in less than a month. However, I also think it is because I have so much on my brain. I am constantly thinking about food, about new concepts, new dishes, new techniques and all of it with an eye to making the best food I possibly can.

All in all I am thrilled. Absolutely thrilled with my decision. I have found a place that I can call home for a while and continue to test my dishes and techniques. All with an eye to the future but maintaining quality and consistency in the present.

This post caused me to think of two quotes. One from William Faulkner; “People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.”

The other from John Heywood; “If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired? WHY NOT! I’m here for you anytime. Just let me know what I can do.

A la prochaine

SDM

Lots of Work (file under but lots of play too…)

One of things I find remarkable about where I am is the amount of complaining I am subjected to. To put it in perspective I work in a kitchen with air conditioning. Access to just about anything I want. Every ingredient I could possibly dream of. Good hours. Great pay and so much more. OH AND BENEFITS. There are only a couple of complainers and I tend to just let it go in one ear and out the other.

Today was busy for me. I had a lot of prep to do and had a moderately busy service. But unlike some people I enjoy being busy. I enjoy working and I LOVE WHAT I DO. I am sure that I have mentioned that at least once or twice.

I was so busy today I did not have a chance to work on any specials. But that does not mean I don’t have anything to write about. As I pointed out above I am essentially in the cooks equivalent of paradise. One of the things that I haven’t touched on yet is the fact that I have an endless supply of side towels. Sound silly, well then, let me explain.

I have worked in a ten million dollar a year operation and about a two million dollar a year operation. In both there were efforts by every cook to hide towels to ensure that there was always an availability of towels. You see, Faster Linen, which is the one which we used at both Reservation and Without Reservation, charges an arm and a leg for towels. Quite literally. As such, a seemingly appropriate number of towels would be ordered, but because of hording, come certain days it would be like searching for the Holy Grail to find towels. I know that this may seem trivial to you as people that do not operate inside a professional kitchen, but it is far from trivial, cooks use towels for all sorts of things. To illustrate;

We need towels to handle hot pans, remove things from the oven, wipe down plates and dishes that we are serving, to wipe our hands, to hold our cutting boards in place, to dry certain ingredients, to place between ingredients. I mean the list of things that we use towels for is truly, quite endless.

One of my great joys at The Club is that Towels are NEVER an issue. The club always has a ready supply of side towels because it takes used towels from all over the club, rips them up appropriately and makes them our side towels. It truly is like Manna from heaven Towel Paradise. And I could not be happier.

At Without Reservation, Faster Linen would come twice a week and would deliver far less than we required. I make no judgments but I can tell you that between Tuesday and Friday, either late Wednesday or early Thursday finding a towel was like finding an answer to peace in the Middle East. I shit you not. It literally was. And now at The Club it might as well rain towels because I never have to walk more than six or seven feet to find a fresh one. Such a great feeling. And is quite a distinction in the world of cooks. You don’t need to accept what I’m saying at face value, look at Bourdain, Ramsay, White and Blumenthal, somewhere in their stories of their journey is one of a lack of side towels.
I have a lot on my brain recently. Well, no, actually, ALL THE TIME! I find myself now considering, as I have pointed out here, the possibility of traveling to learn new cuisines in order to enhance offerings at The Club. I am still a ways away from asking but it is on my mind.

I have a few other things that I am considering currently, but, it is too early to let you in on it.

Are you dreaming big and inspired. I know that I end my posts this way and lately I have been saying how can I help you. I am not saying this just to say it. If you have an idea and need to work it out, I am here for you. The greatest gift I gave myself is pursuing my dreams honestly, with my eyes and ears open, to be the me that I know I am. If I can help you, I am not hard to find. Please do.

Harriet Tubman once said; “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” I know, just as I do, you all have it within you. DREAM ON! DREAM BIG! DREAM INSPIRED!

A la prochaine

SDM

Life truly is WHAT YOU MAKE IT (file under Always Appreciative)

Everyday offer the opportunity anew to rise to the challenge and shine. It is there for you, all you need is a bit of passion, some drive and a whole lot of patience and a great work ethic. You can be whatever you want. All you need to do is, grab life by the balls, and get ready to rock and roll.

Currently I am sipping fabulous Bordeaux. What makes it so fabulous is that I just got home from work. I managed to rollerblade home before the rain. I find myself with an afternoon to catch up on all the things that I need to catch up on AND I HAD A FABULOUS DAY. It is amazing the difference that a day can make. You’ll recall that yesterday I included a quote from Benjamin Franklin that said; “Sloth and Silence are a Fool's Virtues.”

Yesterday I had a choice to make. Allow myself to continue to be taken advantage of, or to take action, measured and calm, to attempt to stop the actions that I felt were abusive of both my character and my work ethic. I am no fool and opted to not be silent this time. To make a measured and reasoned case for why I felt I was being taken advantage of. And I know, I mean I truly know, that my work ethic speaks for itself.

Well, to both my shock and surprise, when I came into work today (partially because my morning partner and I had knocked off quite a bit but also because my pleas were heard and received well) there was a minimal amount for me to do. Which was a beautiful thing because The Club is usually jumping on a Saturday. I took a brief interlude there and quite fittingly “Strawberry Fields” just came on. “Nothing to get hung about.”

At any rate, TODAY WAS A FABULOUS DAY! Knocked all the prep out of the park and found a truly beautiful rhythm in the kitchen dance on the line. I would say we did about one hundred and twenty covers between lunch and dinner today. My partner and I found a great pattern of movement and we were knocking dishes out of the park very quickly. At one point I had five Meat Bistro, a hot dog, two hamburgers, three scramble and two omelettes and I just knocked it out of the park. I know it doesn’t sound like very much but I found that something had changed in myself today. I think that by speaking out about what I perceived as injustice and inequitable work ethics that I caused myself to elevate my game. To put it in perspective;

The Meat Bistro dish this week is Jerk Chicken Skewers with Dirty Rice and Seasonal Veg with a mango salsa. What this means is that there are seven steps from the beginning of the dish to the end. As I have said many times here in this blog, timing is critical. You need to be able to work on multiple of both the same dishes and varied dishes but time them accordingly so that orders go out together. Today, possibly for the first time, I found that I didn’t need to consider the timing. I merely allowed my body to do the things that I have trained it to do in the past year and a half. However, I do need to admit that for the first time in the kitchen this week I have been wearing a watch so that I rely on both intuition and actual timing.

Finding your stride is something that can not be taught. This is something that Executive Chef told me many times at Reservation. As did Sous Chef A. Some people have it and some people don’t. And PLEASE, do not read this as arrogance or some attempt at patting myself on the back, BECAUSE IT IS NOT! Instead it is an acknowledgement, deeply personal, that my skill level is rising. That my ability to deal with complex and time critical issues is getting MUCH MUCH BETTER. And that to me is both wondrous and a fabulous feeling. TRULY!

The rest of the crew came in at noon as is commonplace on Saturday and it was nice to see that they all seemed motivated to work. Obviously I had knocked off all the prep that needed to be knocked off, but each of them, in their own way, approached and asked what needed to be done. I literally had to look for things to get done, but good naturedly and in great spirits, they all were happy to help in any way they could. I hope it lasts because today I felt like the whole crew was working as a team. A TRUE BRIGADE. Nobody left out to dry. Instead all working toward a common goal. A common satisfaction. A common purpose. It felt truly inspired and wonderful.

When Sous Chef R came in he looked at me and told me how well the Fish Bistro did last night. Of course I had already known this as I had prepared twenty four portions and it looked as if there were only six or seven left. Naturally I made another deep half pan that should get them through service tonight. It looks beautiful on the plate and the flavour is quite well balanced. It felt SO GOOD. I know it sounds Hollywood cheesy but I could have cried.

I have known all my life that food is something I was meant to be surrounded by. And now, I am in an environment which is highly demanding, at the very least an educated if not refined palette AND MY FOOD IS BEING RECEIVED BRILLIANTLY. I have received about ten or twelve comments about my food and it feels incredible. All I need to do is keep on doing what I am doing.

All in all, as I have said before, I felt that today was new day and I treated it that way. I feel lucky to be where I am, to be given the latitude to create and implement dishes and to be part of an environment which appreciates me. Fortunate does not even begin to cover it.

But tomorrow is another day. And I am only as good as the last plate I put out. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote; “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely...”

Are you dreaming big and inspired? WHY NOT? What is stopping you? How can I help you to know the same joy that I do?

A la prochaine

SDM

I Got the Joy (file under Adventures in Kitchenland)

Barack Obama once said; “Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled.”

Ain’t that the truth? As we all are aware by now I have had numerous jobs which have left me unfulfilled and left wondering what the whole purpose of life is. As I have documented here, my decision to become a Chef and join a professional kitchen had less to do with money and a whole lot to do with defining my life for myself.

Today was my second full shift at The Club and I have to admit that beyond loving it I am ecstatic that I have found my place here.

Beyond the obvious benefits which I have outlined over the past couple of posts there are numerous culinary benefits to being at The Club. The ability to survive is much different that solely focusing your life on a buck. It is necessary to survive in order to dream. So I bear no guilt over my decision to join a stable and nurturing environment.

Oh and before I get to far… the specials that I developed did so well yesterday that they had to make some on the fly. (Note to self; always make sure that you prepare at least enough mise en place for 15 portions) In retrospect I have to admit that I think that the sun dried tomato ravioli with sun dried pesto was not an ideal pairing. A little overkill on the sun dried if you know what I mean. I think it was just the excitement of creating specials first day. I did get positive feed back from Sous Chef R and the club members seemed to enjoy it.

I was beside myself this morning. I could not sleep. I finally was able to close my eyes and get a rest at around 12:30 am. I awoke startled at 2:36 am and found myself considering whether or not to get up and work or try to get myself back to sleep. I opted for sleep as I felt that I should try to be as sharp as possible in the first few weeks. I woke up again at 4:45 am and decided to just get up and do a little research on the Internet.

I climbed into the shower at around 5:10 am and took a long soak after deciding that it was both too windy and cold for me to rollerblade. I will tomorrow though. In the shower, as for the hour before, I was extremely excited to be going to The Club. I look at it less as work or a job and much more as the daily steps toward the actualization of my dream. Did I mention in a stable and nurturing environment? (Rhetorical)

I arrived at The Club at around 6:10 and got changed right away. Played with the time clock for about ten minutes trying to figure out how the hell to punch in. There were instructions over the machine but they were about as useful as Chinese instructions from Ikea being translated by Maori Indian.

Finally, punching in, I went downstairs and started the grand circle of opening. Fryers, Salamander, Ovens, Stove, Grill, Heat Lamps, Hotline on, Cold Line filled with ice. Blanching pots on. Muffins, Sausage and Bacon in the convection. Make sure there is enough on station and then start prep for the day.

Rather than regaling you with the exciting world of prep, which to you is probably anathema, like a trip to the dentist, I will instead write of the things that were awesome.

First and foremost, I got to work on my butchery skills and broke down twenty pork tenderloins. The reason this is exciting to me is because to my view pork is easier to screw up than beef. I found myself playing with various knife positions, cuts and techniques that I have either learned directly or figured out on the fly today. All the while I was having a great conversation with Sous Chef R which was clearly designed to figure out where I was coming from and where I wanted to go to. He, like me, is a voracious reader and as such the conversation was all over the place. Segues that flowed naturally from conversations of musical likes to the Disclosure project. After breaking down the tenderloins I portioned them off and placed them in a deep half pan covering each layer with a towel. I also helped with a lot of other peoples prep today. No different than I normally would but it was clearly noticed and appreciated.

Slowly, I am beginning to remember faces and names. And there are a lot of faces and names to remember. And just like any other kitchen I have been in it is filled with characters, dreamers, misfits and people who just consider it a job. The difference in this kitchen is the way that I interrelated with them. Cautious but friendly. Calculated but calm. And by calculated I am not meaning in some neo- Machiavellian sense.

Sous Chef R asked me directly whether or not I would be interested in… get this… deep breathe… handling the patio. Cue the hairs on the back of my neck raising momentarily. My answer was the best that I could give… I am here to serve in any capacity that serves both the Club and this kitchen well. After that Sous Chef spoke to me about the virtues of the job. The only one of which I didn’t necessarily like was that it is an afternoon/evening job. That was the only drawback in that I felt it might interfere with the other things I am working on.

I argued with myself over the last paragraph for about a minute there. Unsure as to whether or not to include you in the brain farts that I am having in that regard. However, as you can see, I decided, as usual, not to censor myself and share completely.

So what are the pluses in my mind to taking the assignment?

Best ingredients available in the city. Whatever I can dream up they will bring in.

Menu freedom and control (with oversight of course)

Being outside in the summer on beautiful Lake Ontario

Direct interaction with Club Members which I excel at

So with that said; when the conversation comes up directly as to whether or not I would like to do that this summer. I am almost certain that I will say yes. Also in speaking with Sous Chef R, he made it clear that he felt it was ideal for me, as I don’t need to have my hand held or to be coddled. The conversation, to my mind, was a recognition, and not, as was the case at Reservation, that they have no one else to do the job. It is an extremely nice feeling.

From that we segued into various ingredients I might like to work with. Price/Cost structures. Member wants and needs versus realities. It was quite refreshing as I mentioned earlier.

Thus, from all this, do you get the feeling that I finally found a place that I can grow? I DO!

I am excited, thrilled, ecstatic and could use a thesaurus or that big brain of mine to give you twenty more words to describe the euphoric feeling that I have right now, but instead I will say this; I feel that I have joined a place that will allow me to grow, to be nurtured, to nurture and to fulfill greatest dream in life (next to starting a family with my loving, gorgeous, talented, funny, elegant and dreaming fiancé C, that of becoming a great chef. But first, I need to cook (and practice starting a family), A LOT!

Oscar Wilde once said; “I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Starting from Scratch (file under New Beginnings)

So again my friends, here I stand on the precipice of something new, wonderful and exciting. One of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote; “Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.”

It has been one year, two months and eighteen days since I started this wonderful journey that I am on. I have worked in two different kitchens which have given me a good foundation from which to build. And now I find myself in the enviable position of starting anew in a great kitchen, where, with the knowledge I have gained, I know I need to stay and grow organically to best achieve the result I want. I am grateful to both Reservation and Without Reservation for giving me the opportunity to work with them, to learn and to grow. Each has a place in my heart and in my tale.

Today, I am readying myself for the new job at The Club which starts tomorrow. I had a meeting with Executive Chef and the Sous Chef that I will be working under on Thursday. Rather than writing about it immediately I wanted it all to sink in before I wrote a commentary.

To prepare for the meeting I went out and bought myself a treat! It is my intent (and I have been working on It for about a month now) to make sure that I am in great health for my wedding. I have started doing push ups and sit ups and have now added to my regiment by buying myself a pair of rollerblades to get to and from work. Excited doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The meeting went extremely well. I filled out some paper work and got a great tour of the facilities. Being introduced to the Sous Chef that I am to work under I was kind of shocked at his lack of animation. Here he was responsible for the inner working of a sizable kitchen and he exhibited the same kind of Zen like calm that Director of Operations did at Reservation. It was something that caused me to start thinking. I will expound on my thoughts later.

I became excited to be joining the team even before the meeting but after it I was thrilled. I am being paid a fair wage, am entering an environment which is extremely stable, where I can learn everyday, where I am part of a team, which will guarantee that I get a minimum of eighty hours per pay period, which leaves me with time in my day to do the many things that I do outside of the kitchen which are part of my learning experience. These are just some of the great things, what’s more, BENEFITS, they will pay for courses that I choose to take which I get a 75% or higher mark in. They reward attendance and promote from within. Do you get that I am a little excited?

I have a game plan for my time at The Club. I know what I need to do. I know what I need to be and Zen like is going to play a big part in it. I have learned valuable lessons from my experiences in the kitchen and plan on putting all of them to use in my new position. Officially I am First Cook and man is that exciting.

I know that I have found myself a place where I can learn and grow which nullifies some of the concerns that I have had to date. I look forward to becoming a member of the team and putting into action everything that I have learned in the past year and three months.

So the ride is going to get a little more interesting for me. And thus, for you.

Dante Alighieri once wrote; “Consider your origin; you were not born to live like brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge.”

It has become time for me to release the sometimes brutish nature of my own existence in order to become a better man, a better son, a better brother, a better lover, a better friend and a better member of humanity. I look forward to the challenges that lie ahead and recognize the opportunity in each and every one of them.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Another Opportunity (file under heading Chef’s advice)

Thomas Edison once said; “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Not for me though. I love to work. I love what I do and where I am going. As such today presented another opportunity that I must weigh all the options and ensure that it is exactly what I want. That said I felt pretty good at the meeting.

As I blogged a few posts ago, I had a meeting with the Executive Chef of a prominent club in Toronto. I arrived sharply at 3 and spoke with him about what he needs, wants and desires as well as what I want, need and desire. We then walked around the various facilities to give me a feel for the place.

Its operations are huge. Perhaps four times as big as Reservation and at least ten times as big as Without Reservation. There are three distinct levels of service and thus expectation. The walkins are massive and filled with the most delicious, fresh and awe inspiring ingredients. The general feel of the place was good and seemed to be something that I might like to do.

When we returned to Chef’s office we spoke for a few more minutes. By the way, it really is true that all Chef’s get a bright corner office with lots of natural light, the best computers possible, etc. True in dreamland that is. Chef’s offices I have come to learn are small, filled with endless amounts of knowledge, clipboards, prep and staff lists, etc. But the office was nice enough and clean. We spoke all in for about an hour and within a few minutes I had the feeling that this was someone I could work for. He made sure that I was willing and able to be at work for those hours at which I had to chuckle. I always show up. He liked that!

Thus, the opportunity is, to work breakfast and lunch services for the time being. I have the freedom to create specials every day which include pasta, pizza and sandwiches as well as fish, meat, etc. This sounded very good to me. He was very honest in saying that it may not be the dream job for everyone out there but it is one which has the opportunity to create, to move up and to be part of a team. All things which resonate with me greatly.

Steady work. Stable. BENEFITS. I can buy into the pension plan.

So next I need to speak with my incredible fiancé and get her opinion on the matter. Executive Chef and I are scheduled to speak again on Friday. I look forward to resolving these issues so that I can start the process of working my way up the ladder to achieve exactly what it is that I intend to achieve.

As I was typing this Executive Chef sent me some material regarding menus, etc. He also looks forward to speaking on Friday.

I guess I have some serious soul searching to do. Luckily I am good at searching and have a soul.

Arthur Rimbaud once wrote; “The first study for the man who wants to be a poet is knowledge of himself, complete: he searches for his soul, he inspects it, he puts it to the test, he learns it. As soon as he has learned it, he must cultivate it! I say that one must be a seer, make oneself a seer. The poet becomes a seer through a long, immense, and reasoned derangement of all the senses. All shapes of love suffering, madness. He searches himself, he exhausts all poisons in himself, to keep only the quintessences. Ineffable torture where he needs all his faith, all his superhuman strength, where he becomes among all men the great patient, the great criminal, the great accursed one--and the supreme Scholar! For he reaches the unknown! ....So the poet is actually a thief of Fire!”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

WHY NOT?

A la prochaine

SDM

For Every Door that Closes (file under Opportunity)

Alexander Graham Bell once said; “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

At first last Tuesday I left Reservation feeling dejected, unwanted, unneeded and what’s more as if my contribution to Reservation had counted for nothing. While considering all of these over the past week I have come to realize that Executive Chef was right in not taking me back. It is for my own good and by doing so he is actually ensuring that I can achieve what I want.

Now that does not for a minute suggest that I did not want to be back at Reservation. But I’ve come to realize that in the decision not to take me back the old adage of “familiarity breeds contempt,” probably came into play. It was not a comment on my contribution to Reservation, nor, for that matter, on me as a person. It was instead, at least now this is how I see it, on what I want to achieve and how best to get there.

Moreover, Executive Chef reminded me about; “ferme la bouche.” It was brought up in the context of my intelligence and working in a kitchen and how if I can not learn to control my voice, both inner and outer it will negatively impact on my ability to be a great brigade member. In many ways I feel as if, through repetition, he is wanting me to get a hold of myself, my sometimes manic outwardly expression, grab it by the balls, and become exactly what I say I want to.

I’ve always had a big mouth. In the past it has both helped and hurt me. And the more I hear about ferme la bouche, the more I realize that it is now time for me to be more than just the master of my domain but also my inner workings.

So for that I would like to thank Executive Chef for taking the time to see me. For taking the time to consider taking me back and for coming to the conclusion that the path that I am on is not one of comfort and familiarity but rather one of discomfort and lack of familiarity. I appreciate it and I will shine as Executive Chef desires. As I desire. And I’m sure as all of you desire.

Through reflection I have come to realize that, as the above quote says, staring at the closed door prevents me from continued growth and indeed success. So rather than focusing on the closed door I am instead looking for open doors. And the doors are opening.

This past week the Executive Chef at a prominent club in the city has asked me to come in and see him about a great position. Moreover, Chef has opened the door for me at a very nice French restaurant through a Chef friend of his, a Michelin trained mentor, that he says I can learn oodles from. So here I am, clearing my mind on this first Sunday of spring, readying myself for the onslaught of opportunity that will allow me to continue on this path. Spring is a time for renewal, for new growth and for the unfurling of something beautiful. And here I sit!

I am at times, unduly hard on myself; in fact I am harder on myself than anyone ever could be. I’ve come to realize over the course of the last week that while this is positive sometimes, more often than not, that nagging voice (don’t pretend you don’t have one) holds me in place or back. It creates a conflict within myself that does nothing to help me and more often that not, hurts me. So, another thing on my list of things to work on.

Everything in life, thus far, has helped me to get to this point. There have been some things, that naturally I could live without, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I am the result of my past and use that energy to promote a future of my own design. It is not always easy to look at ones self and acknowledge their flaws. However, if you can, and you adjust you’ll find a greater happiness caused my clarity of thought and action.

So I’m not going to stare at the closed door. Instead I am going to figure out how best to open the best door for me. To get to where I need to be,

Howard Thurman once wrote; “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Now is the Winter of Our Discontent (file under Lessons)

In his great work, “The Old Man and the Sea,” Hemingway’s opening line is; “He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.” This is sort of how I feel right now.

I went for the follow up meeting at Reservation today. And in many ways it was a great meeting. In others it was a massive blow to my ego and my spirit. Perhaps intellectually arrogantly I believed that Executive Chef was going to allow me to come back to Reservation. I believed that my service to Reservation had been such that I would be given the opportunity to come back.

Meeting with Executive Chef in the dining room we had a brief conversation. Perhaps ten minutes or so. He asked why he should allow me to come back and I explained as best I could the reasons I thought that I should be allowed to come back. We bantered back and forth for a few minutes and then a brief pause and he looked me squarely in the eye and quietly, almost imperceptibly said; “No.” Another person might have misunderstood what was meant by the no but it was immediately clear to me, that, for my own good, and the good of my dream, he was not going to allow me to come back. Naturally I asked if there was any way that I could change his mind and he let me know that there was not.

He expressed to me, quite plainly, that I should go and find myself a European Chef. That I should find either in a hotel, or elsewhere, a Chef that would put me on his brigade and teach me in the old world style. He said that I need to be uncomfortable and that my coming back to Reservation would do nothing to enhance either his kitchen or my dream. That instead, by reaching out to a top European Chef, either in a hotel or otherwise, that I could learn in an environment which was better suited to my needs. I appreciated what he said. And the advice that he gave me. He also made it clear that I was welcome to use him as a reference and that if called he would give an exceptional reference.

I have to tell you at first I was really upset. I still kind of am. But I understand what he is trying to do and appreciate fully his not taking me back. In the long run of my dream, I think he is doing me a great service and not a disservice. That does not however take away from the hurt I now feel. But again, after sober thought, I am sure that his point of view will prevail in my own mind.

That does not for a moment take away from the fact that I wish I could go back.



My use of Hemingway at the beginning is the acknowledgement that by leaving Reservation I have failed to catch a fish. I have failed to find meaning in what I am doing currently and what’s more have failed in finding an environment that will aid me in the pursuit of my dream.

Does it suck? Absolutely. But I feel stronger for having attempted to correct my own mistake and I know that there is lots for me to learn from it. I made my bed and now I need to lay in it.

Theodore Roosevelt once said; “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Thank you Chef! I appreciate it.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Please Sir, May I Have Some More (file under thoughts)

Escoffier once said; “On n’en sait jamais trop.” This translates roughly to; the more one learns, more one realizes how much is left to learn.

We are all well aware that the last month or so I have been searching. Searching for a way to continue to survive. To continue living my dream. To continue continuing if you will. Feeling unfulfilled where I am inevitably led me down the path of self exploration. For most people I think this is uncomfortable because they are unsure of what they are going to find. In my case, I find it quite liberating. Why liberating you may ask? Well if you look at the testament of my blog you will find that I am always looking inward. I am trying to find a way to feel good about where I am and what I am doing and not out of some major discontent or the like. But rather to enhance that dream which I am living each day.

Upon deeper reflection this passed weekend I came to realize just how much I had grown as a person. I have never been one to publicly display my mistakes out of a deep fear of judgment. However, when I think about the meeting at Reservation on Friday, I feel good about it, I feel that I acknowledged my mistakes, analyzed them, and sought out an answer that not only fit, but was the right fit.

When I left Reservation I was blinded by my own stupidity. Well, maybe not stupidity, but a momentary lapse of judgment. One which did not enable me to perfectly explore my options and decide upon which would best serve my eventual goals. It is not easy to come to that realization. But again I think that it is a measure of maturity and sober thought that leads me to that realization.

I feel good about the meeting. About what was said by both the DOP and Executive Chef. I feel that I represented my foolishness in an appropriate way and demonstrated my desire to come back humbled in order to grow.

That’s sort of where I got the name of this post. For me, it is saying, may I have some more. More experience. More knowledge. More time to grow. More time to flourish. More time to develop. So yes, I would like some more.

I am going back to Reservation tomorrow afternoon before service for another meeting. I’m unsure what Executive Chef is going to say. But I am prepared. Prepared in the event that it does not go my way. But even more so if I am accepted back. Sous Chef A had suggested that I be ready to jump into line with him at Sauce regardless of the outcome of the meeting. Again through sober thought and a few little birdies I think that it would be inappropriate for me to assume anything in Chef’s kitchen. It is his kitchen and I need to adhere to his wishes. I will however be bringing with me my knives and Chef wear.

I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m prepared. I’m ready to continue my path.

Les Brown once said; “Your ability to communicate is an important tool in your pursuit of your goals, whether it is with your family, your co-workers or your clients and customers.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Camaraderie (file under Kitchen Love)

At least two or three times I have written about the camaraderie that develops in a kitchen. It is a bond of brothers and sisters that come together to complete a task together in the most beautiful and wonderful ways. But that camaraderie is not limited to just the kitchen in which you work.

Currently, at Without Reservation, when I go out for a smoke, I am facing the smoking area of another kitchen. A couple of times a day I will see their Pastry Chef, or Sous Chef or just some of the line cooks doing the same thing that I am, having a cigarette and working through whatever needs to be worked through that day.

There is the normal small chitchat but then there are also conversations which reveal the true camaraderie of the kitchen. I have been speaking with the Sous Chef and Pastry Chef there since I started at Without Reservation. They constantly give me good advice and are interested in my progress in the kitchen. This also filters down to the line cooks as well. I am struck by the camaraderie that develops.

It is a nice feeling to escape the constantly balmy thirty five degrees of the kitchen and to have a conversation with someone for a minute or two, or five as the case may be.

This experience has led me to believe that there is an unspoken bond between kitchens the world over. Anthony Bourdain has spoken about this many times too. Perhaps it is because we are all in the joyous suffering of burns, cuts, scrapes and failed experiments. Perhaps it is the cigarette or perhaps, maybe, just maybe, it is something deeper. Something more human. Something spiritual which transcends our humanity and instead highlights our shared experience and makes us reach for one another. I’m not sure what it is. But I can tell you this, it makes me feel extremely happy to know that this exists outside of the military or a hockey team.

Moreover, in going back to Reservation this week, I felt as if that camaraderie still exists even when people move on. I don’t think it is true in every case, but certainly, it would appear, in mine.

Just something that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while.

Todd English once said; “I liked the energy of cooking, the action, the camaraderie. I often compare the kitchen to sports and compare the chef to a coach. There are a lot of similarities to it.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Humble Pie (file under Realizations)

Yesterday I had a meeting with the Director of Operations and Executive Chef of Reservation. When I left my current job I put my Ipod on and started walking toward Reservation. Like the universe was trying to tell me something the soundtrack of my walk could not have been more perfect. First, “Good Day,” followed by “A Change is Gonna to Come,” and then finally “Daydreamer.” As I walked, as I usually do, with a purposeful walk, I stopped at the park by Reservation and thought for a minute. Less about what I was going to say and much more about what they would.

It was hard for me to leave Reservation. As I have mentioned on this blog before it was not a decision that I made lightly. Going back to speak with them also was not a decision I made lightly. It required me to acknowledge that I had made a mistake. And a big one at that. A heaping helping of honest humble pie. Which in this case I was only to happy to eat. I feel that both the DOP and Executive Chef knew this when I was leaving. In fact, I recalled yesterday, as I have many days since I left, that the DOP had said to me that; “You can never come back.” This thought kept playing in my mind. Because I felt it had less to do with me as a person and instead represented a philosophical direction of thought.

As I approached I realized just how weird it was to enter the building from the front door. There were many happy faces to see me Sous Chef A, Chef B and even Chef J all seemed truly happy to see me. Beyond the fact that it had been a few months since I had seen them it felt as if they knew before I said anything that I wanted to come back and that I had realized the mistake that I had made.

Everyone seemed really happy that I was there. I made sure to quickly go over to my guy L and give him a big hug. A massive smile perched on his face in that telling way that always makes you feel good. I certainly did.

My plan had been, according to the syntax of my mind, to speak with the DOP first and get his permission to ask Executive Chef for my job back. When I got there he told me that he was indisposed for a few minutes so I went and spoke with Sous Chef A and Chef B for a minute or two over a smoke and then went to speak with Executive Chef.

Butterflies do not even begin to cover it. When I approached the office door he was on the phone and looked up and a smile came over his face and he lifted the tell tale hold on a minute finger. He got off the phone and I extended my hand which was graciously received. I asked if he had a few minutes to speak. Naturally he did despite being up to his ass in paperwork.

I started by acknowledging that I had made a mistake and further that I thought that both he and the DOP had known this. That care of my experiences of the last four months I became aware of my mistake. He asked where I was and what I was doing and then had to take a phone call from a friend that he had not seen since 2007.

As I sat there while he was on the phone I realized just how much I missed everyone there. The camaraderie that had developed there. The lessons I had learned. And those left to learn. He spoke for a few minutes and then got off the phone and looked at me ready to continue to our conversation.

I told him what I was doing. How I handled the daily soups and specials as a means of trying to teach myself where I was currently working. I told him about the covers I was responsible for every day, etc. It was less pleading my case (as I had at first expected I would do) and more a way of acknowledging how I had become a better cook as a result of this experience not to mention a better person. Someone worthy of being, once again, part of the brigade.

In the past month I have realized that I submitted myself about 90 percent when I was first at Reservation. I had let go of just enough of myself to cause the internal dialogue that caused me to leave. As a result of my inability to see or understand exactly how much I was learning and a growing frustration with perceived “injustice” (for lack of a better word) I had to go. I explained this to Executive Chef and moreover that I was willing to submit myself 100 percent to the process this time around. To be a better cook, a better student and a better person as a result.

I explained that it was (as I’ve said here) my desire to go down to NYC once I have a solid foundation from which to grow and expand my skill set. I explained that I felt I was at least a year to a year and a half away from being able to do that. That where I was currently was merely slinging food and would in no way help me get to where I want to go. Implication and outwardly stating that Reservation was, to my view, one of the only avenues I have in Toronto to get the education that I want and need to fulfill my life legacy and dreams.

He listened intently. Gracefully. Graciously. With the wisdom of a teacher who has accepted the fault of his student. Truth be told I was a little shocked by the way I was received. It made me feel good.

He looked at me after a good back and forth of about fifteen minutes and said that he had to think about it. That he wanted me to come back when he would have a list of things for us to discuss before he could make his decision. I said I understood and placed myself firmly in his hands. That meeting is set for Tuesday. Somewhere inside I think it is dripping with irony that I am returning to meet with him after work on St. Patrick’s Day.

Shortly after he and I spoke the DOP and I meet up in the garbage area where I was having a smoke with Chef B and Sous Chef A. After our cigarettes he motioned for us to go to the dining room. My conversation with him went closely to the one with Executive Chef. He also told me that there are things that go on in the kitchen that are not readily apparent sometimes. That the absence of certain things may not in fact me an absence at all. Moreover that sometimes, in the building of a brigade, the team member may not be aware of what is happening but it does not mean that something is not happening. Such as learning or aiding in the formation of a good brigade member. I agreed and listened intently.

He told me that in his experience he does not take people back. That he believes in building loyalty and a team that functions at a high level. I expressed my belief that I could sit there and blow smoke up his ass but instead wanted to approach this from a fresh perspective and honestly. That I acknowledged my mistake and that I only realized how much I learned there after I left. Again we spoke about my NYC plans and that I felt the only way I could get there in the city of Toronto is by submitting myself fully to the regiment designed for me at Reservation. He said that he and Executive Chef would speak about it last night but that ultimately it was Executive Chefs decision.

I could not gage whether or not the DOP was against my coming back. Whereas I believe that Chef J, Chef B and Sous Chef A would all like to see me back. In fact, Sous Chef A told me that on Tuesday when I come back I should bring my knives and my Chef clothes and just get changed and start helping when I get there. Jump on Sauce with him and just start helping. Even if, after our meeting, Executive Chef told me that this could not happen, that I should jump back on Sauce with him and help. As such, what do you think I plan on doing on Tuesday?

All in all it was a great meeting. All in all I came to realize more completely why I respected both Executive Chef and the DOP. And why I missed the restaurant. So I hope that in the coming days I can answer the questions and concerns of Executive Chef so I can once again jump in, full hat, to resume anew, my destiny.

Henry Miller once wrote; “Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Options, Mistakes and Considerations (file under more?’s than answers)

We’ve all heard the expression the grass is always greener. Well rarely if ever have I found that the grass is actually greener. In my haste to achieve my desires and dreams I believe that I have given less consideration than was necessary to make some pretty important decisions. This is true both inside and outside of the kitchen.

I have waxed poetic here about going down to NYC and how great it would be. After much reflection I now know that it would be premature of me to go down to NYC for at least another year of development here. While it would be great to go down and be with C everyday and come home to a smiling and loving face, I know that if I were to go down, I would find myself in the same position I am now. Doing something merely as a means of survival.

Survival is important in the pursuit of dreams. There is no question about that. But survival (and ultimately talent) are not enough. You need much more in order to succeed. And I realize that now.

I left Reservation under the impression that I would be leaving something great but replacing it with something that was even greater. That I would have the opportunity to expand upon both my practical experience and my book knowledge. That the fundamentals that I had built would continue to grow and flourish. Unfortunately, in my departure, I have found that the fundamentals are suffering, as is my training. So I’m left considering; what do I do to address this?

Patience is something that keeps coming up for me. I can’t recall who said it but I believe it was Daniel Boulud that said you require patience as a good cook to succeed. I wonder whether or not I was impatient with Reservation or at the very least at Reservation.

Again the question begs; what do I do? I am actively looking to find a place where I belong and can further my fundamentals. I know of one place that I can do this. I know of one person that I can speak with to redress this issue. And I plan to.

It is difficult to admit our mistakes. It is even more difficult sometimes to correct them. But where there is good will and history there can be a redressing.

Ultimately, in the coming weeks, I am going to find myself an answer to where I belong, how I can improve and what I need to do in order to get back on track for my dreams and aspirations.

James Joyce once said; “A man's errors are his portals of discovery.” And Conrad Hilton once said; “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Survival (file under Dreams ain’t always easy)

When I left Reservation to join Without Reservation though I was working a ridiculous number of hours I was making enough money to live. Currently I have been working less hours (last week because I was sick) and this week because we are in a period of transition. It is difficult given my current hours to survive. By survive I mean pay my rent, get to and from work, buy cigarettes and groceries. This will change and I will use the next post to explain how. However, I know that if the hours remain what they are I will have to search out a second job so that I can afford to live.

When I moved to without Reservation I was under the impression (as that was what I was assured because I knew I could not live on less than I was making at Reservation) that I would get between forty and fifty hours a week. As it stands I have been lucky to get between thirty five and forty five hours a week. Of course it always appears that the grass is greener and in this case (for the time being) it is. But it would really be difficult for me to get a second job just to meet my survival and continue the level of intensive studying that I have been doing.

But nobody ever said that living your dream was going to be easy. Nor should it be. I have and will always find a way.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox once wrote; “There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.”

Is there any doubt for any of you that I am not determined? I know that I am and that I will get to where I need to go for myself.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

Alain Ducasse (file under Are you f&^#’n kidding me?)

Prior to leaving Reservation I decided to put my feelers out to see if there was an opportunity out there for someone like me, even with the limited though incredible and intensive training that I had. One of the organizations that I sent a feeler to was Alain Ducasse (http://www.alain-ducasse.com/public_us/en_ce_moment/fr_encemoment.htm ). For those of you who don’t know who Alain Ducasse is check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_Ducasse .

At the time that I applied I had relatively little experience in the scheme of things and was really just taking a shot at the dark. Just as I had with Reservation. They advised me that they had no openings at the time but that they liked my energy and my back story and that they would keep me in mind.

In an interesting twist of fate I had a conversation with Sous Chef A over the holidays and he said that he thought (as I mentioned on the blog) that I should go somewhere with my knife bag in hand and get some work. In our last conversation he mentioned that I should go to Alain Ducasse.

Low and behold I get home the other day and I have an invitation to come and work for Alain Ducasse. After quite a bit of jumping up and down, spinning round and round and basically shaking my head I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. I opened my eyes and sure enough the email I had was real enough and I WAS NOT DREAMING. Except that I am taking steps to live my dream every day.

Of course I considered it in earnest and decided that the coming year is to be filled with some pretty great experiences and that I didn’t want to put them on hold. I will be part of rolling out two menus. Getting married. Possibly moving to NYC. As such I decided that now was not an ideal time. However I did celebrate the fact that living your dream, being true to who you are and working towards it each and every day is a beautiful thing and the universe in all it wonderful serendipity will reward you for your efforts.

Alain Ducasse. Are you f&^#’n kidding me? Needless to say I have archived the conversation in my gmail.

Ovid once said; “Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired? WHY NOT?

A la prochaine

SDM

Days like These (File under Mama Said There’d Be)

I had a rough day. Personally rough because I had to challenge my own person. I had to decide very quickly whether I would allow the demons deep within my soul to take control of my outward manifestations OR whether I would exercise some self restraint and learn something in the process.

We have a very hands on owner at Without Reservation. He does a lot of the expediting during lunch service and he has a bit of a problem, in that, he likes to jump chits and send out food that has been prepared for another bill. But first by way of explanation.

When a chit comes in the entire kitchen works in tandem to ensure that the bill is completed, in full, at the same time. Chef will call out a bill number and let us know the amount of time that is required for the longest element of that bill. It then becomes our challenge, task or obstacle, whatever you want to call it, to ensure that WE deliver within that time frame. Thus you can imagine what happens if an element of one bill is “jumped” and sent to another bill. The finely choreographed ballet soon looks like amateur hour at the community kitchen. AND I DON’T WANT THAT… EVER!

At lunch today I personally sent out sixty meals (approximately). SIXTY MEALS. At my busiest I was preparing eight different sandwiches and sides, two Penne and a Spaghetti. All of which was being done to coincide with the Chefs’ call. I put up the food that I could as I was finishing off the Penne and soon looked up in horror as my Spaghetti and a couple of the sandwiches had been shifted from bills that I was working to bills that had just come in. This was done ostensibly to finish off a bill quickly. Yes, it finished the bill of quickly, but, on the other hand, it screwed up three or four other bills that caused me to have to come up, on the fly, with a way to complete those bills.

The problem is quite simple. Chicken only cooks so quickly. It wouldn’t matter whether it was Chicken or Fish or Pasta. The principle is the same. When you are working in a fast paced environment such as a lunch service, you learn how to divide your time appropriately to make sure that you never are the problem with a bill. However, when a bill is jumped and the food that you have prepared for that bill is sent out it causes you an enormous amount of stress because you never want to let your Chef down.

I am Irish and Scottish. Which means by my very heritage, I have been known, to have a temper. That temper usually manifests itself in a lyrical tirade that may or may not be lost on the recipient but the intent is quite plain. At numerous points during lunch today, perhaps as many as six or seven, I would have loved to let my mind be known verbally. Instead, much to my amazement and intense pleasure, I swallowed my anger and did my best to fulfill the orders that were my responsibility. I came very close, a couple of times, to letting go, but I did not.

Thus I have in the process become a better man, a better cook and will become a better Chef down the road because of it. Believe me when I say though that my fellow cooks were aware of my anger through some of my actions. After all actions do speak louder than words. There is a certain sound that a pan makes when it hits a sink in anger. Needless to say that sound was heard quite a few times through service.

After service I went outside and could see that Chef was angry. I asked what was up. He kept it internalized and I knew it wasn’t me. As I took a deep drag of my cigarette I mentioned my displeasure with what had happened during service. He noted my displeasure and let me know that it would be resolved in the near future.

As I sit and write this now I am thrilled with two things that happened today. One because of something that Executive Chef said to me as I was leaving Reservation. “Ferme la porte.” THANK YOU CHEF! A valuable lesson and one which I am learning is absolutely right. The second is that I am in control of my destiny, my personal response and my future.

For the longest time I would blame my heritage for the way that I was. NO LONGER! I am in control of me. As such I need to wage a battle with my mistaken beliefs and hold dominion over my reaction and response to the world around me. All in all, I think that today was a valuable day of personal awareness. And the more I analyze it, the better I feel.

All I could think about when I wanted to explode were the following quotes, 3 in fact;

Seneca once said; “Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”

Lord Alfred Tennyson said; “The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.”

Jack Kerouac; “My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”

Food for thought. Don’t you think?

There is an old Asian Proverb which states; He that will not reflect is a ruined man.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM

We Show Up (file under the show must go on)

Obviously with C home our social calendar is filling up more rapidly than the loss prevention room at Macy’s during the Christmas season. Of course you need to be able to balance work with play but sometimes you play a little much and have the choice of calling in dead (not really an option) or doing what every other person longing to be a chef does; SHOW UP!

Friday night C and I were at our good friends C and L. I finished work around 9 as we had a four course dinner party for forty which I addressed in the previous post. After work I had a pint of Guinness while I waited for C. We went to our friends place and drank and had an all around good time until around six am. Fortunately I didn’t have to be at work until three but even still though my head was clear my body was revolting a bit. As such I showed up to work early and made myself the best body repair dish I could after a night of debauchery, a grilled vegetable sandwich with Brie on pannini and truffle scented Poutine. SO GOOD! After that I felt like a million bucks.

One by one the brigade started filing in and it became immediately clear that we all had punished ourselves with a great time the night before. When Chef came in he looked like I felt. He, like most Chefs, suffers from sometimes debilitating arthritis and as such was not only hung over but in any extraordinary amount of pain. As such I immediately stepped up to the plate to make sure that everything ran smoothly.

There were only three of us to run the kitchen as Chef worked on paper work. We ended up not being overly busy but still had a lot to do. I ended up with some assistance from the Garde basically working the front line by myself. I did approximately fourteen steaks, a few chicken, six salmon, five penne, three ravioli, a few grilled veg sandwiches and a whole lot more.

Everything was running smoothly up until the last few orders when my eyes started failing me and I was reading the chits wrong. But, as any self respecting Chef would do I found a way to overcome the problem quickly. On two chits I read the order as if there was only one steak and one salmon. In fact there were two. As such, on the fly, and quickly, I had to get a medium salmon and a medium steak out. Almost without thought I seasoned both of them and put them on the grill to mark them. (By the way this is not the preferred method of cooking but it worked). As food had already gone out to the table I had to get this done quickly. After grill marking them I threw them under the salamander and was able to get them out to the table in less than four minutes after discovering my screw up. I apologized profusely to the waiter as it was my fault and not his that I misread the chit.

When I asked for a quality check after getting it out quickly he let me know that they were very happy, said the food tasted great and had no problem with the slight delay in food getting out.

I credit Reservation with giving me the ability to think quickly on my feet. Both Executive Chef and Director of Operations (not to mention A who has been invaluable to my progression) with teaching me that you need to overcome obstacles quickly. By using your head and not loosing your cool. So I thank all three of you for aiding me in overcoming the obstacles I faced last night.

In the end I have to admit that I feel amazing about being able, despite being somewhat hung over, being able to quickly address a problem. The whole night went off exceptionally well minus the two hiccups and I made sure to thank both the front of house and the brigade for their great work.

The night also gave me an extraordinary opportunity to learn. From our mistakes we learn much more than from our successes and the lessons stay with us for a lifetime. When I take the time to analyze where I was when I started this journey and where I am today I have come to realize that not only am I in the right industry, but I can and will achieve my goal.

After shutting down the kitchen I went to the front of house where the owner was. I had taken the time during the day to make a very special egg Nog which we were giving to the staff as a thank you when they were done their shifts. Walking out I felt very good about our week and what we had accomplished. The owner had the bartender pour me a double eggnog and he thanked me for the week. He let me know that we broke his previous sales record, not just broke it, but smashed it. As I pounded my first egg Nog and grabbed the rum to pour myself another, I felt satisfied that Chef and I and the brigade are starting to make a difference. All the more remarkable when you consider that many restaurants are soon going to feel the pinch of tightened pockets and financial restraint.

The great Canadian actress Mary Pickford once said; “If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.”

Are you dreaming big and inspired? START TODAY!

A la prochaine

SDM