What Shall I Be Called?

Never a dull moment to be sure.

A kitchen is a frenetic environment filled with what you (but not me) might consider a toss up between insanity and extreme.

I strongly believe that it takes a specific kind of person to work in a kitchen and especially to be a Chef. First off you need to be able to as I was told tonight have no self-esteem or at the very least be self-effacing. You need to be able to follow orders that are barked out so fast that even playing Nintendo Wii's mind games (Brain Buster or whatever they call it) could not possibly train you for and the ability to acknowledge you've messed up and ask for help. These are only the broad strokes.

The finer points require you to have the energy of a jackrabbit surrounded by a pack of rabid wolves. You need to be able to stand on your feet for hours on end (only twelve today for me plus two hours of travel). You need to process quickly and move faster...ALWAYS FASTER

It is imperative that you know the following expressions. They will be your bedrock and principle form of communication inside the kitchen;

Yes Chef!
No Chef!
I don't know Chef.
Coming Chef!
Thank you Chef!
Please Chef!
Can you show me Chef!
How is this Chef!

So on and so forth but you get the idea.

Also as a word of caution for anyone who is not totally freaked out of their mind yet. Anyone who watches certain TV personalities and thinks; "oh that's easy" or "I could do that" let me assure you it is nothing like you've seen on TV. I don't know if any of you are aware of this (read sarcasm here) but TV IS FAKE. It’s not real. It does not represent reality. It is merely an escapist fantasy.

Hell's Kitchen though entertaining does not accurately portray the happenings of a kitchen which does not take away from the fact that Gordon Ramsay is an extremely talented Michelin starred Chef.

So to my day. Again as I said last night I was assigned homework.

Prior to that it had been a long day that caused me to leave out the highpoint that I will share now.

I worked the line for a party (93 guests last night). I was on veg station. First we laid out the salad plates and soup bowls. 43 salads and 35 soups. Don't know what happened to the other people? Then we had to serve 43 steaks in various preparations from blue to well. Then we had approx 20 chicken and the rest were split between halibut and risotto. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life (well the first and last time I made love to C are more exhilarating but that goes without saying). It pushes you to a level that is difficult to endure and each course goes out (expedited by Exec Chef) in about seven minutes.

It is truly remarkable to be part of and it completely engrosses you.

Today started at about 11 am. Walked in and put on my Chef jacket and started to work right away. To this point I have not had to do a prep list because I have been acting as a utility but I'm pretty sure tomorrow I will have a prep list.

Started off easy enough, had to prepare a mire pois (celery, onion, leak and carrot). Easy enough to do especially when it is for stock, as you don't need to cut perfectly which is not the same as saying that it doesn't need to be uniformly done.

After that had a brief chat with Exec Chef about cold sauces that left me feeling as if I had not a clue but not because of anything he said. More something I felt, like in the time I was speaking he had forgotten more about cold sauces than I would ever know. But mentally I just too it as a challenge. Something to aspire to.

My preps today included as I've said the mire pois, then I had to skim the demi glaze (something I did about once an hour), from there it was ladling out the reduced veal stock and straining it. From there adding red wine and more water for the second rendering where as I learned today even more flavour comes out. All the while of course making sure that my station was prepared properly and then immaculately cleaned before moving on so as to prevent any cross contamination.

I then proceeded to lay out the salads for the working lunch that was happening. Just some greens with a nice vinaigrette and a potato salad while I watched Exec Chef and Chef A work on the sandwiches of roast beef and smoked turkey with roast veg.

From there it was roasting baby beets, pitting nicoise olives (which incidentally is particularly painful when you have tiny slices all over your hands. But again, I would not trade this culinary experience for anything as I truly am getting paid to learn. After that it was some more chopping, cleaning and general help.

But then (cue suspenseful music) the pasta machine came out. The roller that is. Chef J was working on some ravioli at which point Chef E said pay attention. Which I did. Anytime Chef E (or any Chef in a kitchen you are working says pay attention – better grab the pen from your sleeve and the notebook from your cargos and pay rapt attention. I watched as he rolled out the dough, egg washed, put the filling down, covered, pushed out the air, covered with a round, pushed out more air, then cut the ravioli pulling off the excess and patting down the edges. The whole process took him about three minutes. I then was thrown into the world of Ravioli making. I only got to make eight because we were wrapping it up but guess what I’ll be doing tomorrow as I’ve already prepared the filling for it. You guessed it…

Then I sliced some pancetta and baked it while I caramelized some shallots. Good times.

Another secret I learned today is how to eat on the fly. In the morning you pick at stuff while it is being prepared. In the afternoon you pick at some of the things being prepared for service and at night after service or near the end you are welcome to east whatever you want within reason (Damn I guess no Foie this week!) All in all I’m learning the ropes pretty quickly and each and every day for the rest of my life seems to be filled with surprise, excitement and you guessed it tightly controlled and organized chaos. What I have now termed the Ode to Fire!

Then after I had cleaned perfectly the prep side of the kitchen I was allowed to watch the ode to fire... It is incredible watching these people work... They are the type of people that you would see on the street and not even pay a second glance to (not for looks or anything like that) just regular folk.. But in the kitchen... They are kind of like Shakespeare’s description in the prologue of Henry V; “Oh for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention, a kingdom for a stage (the kitchen), princes to act (the Chefs) and monarchs to behold the swelling scene (the customers).”

After that I watched as we closed the kitchen down, scrubbed it to perfection. Right as it was almost done Chef E grabbed me and pulled me to the front of house to this point we had not had a chance for me to sign my employment contract or any of my relevant info. That took a couple of minutes and then Chef E spoke to me about knives. That tomorrow (today now… geez is it already that time and I’ve only been home twenty minutes) he would allow me to use all of his knives to find the ones that I am most comfortable with. Earlier in the day (I’m sure its because I’m a lefty) I had said to Exec Chef that I was not sure I liked one method of cutting and that I felt more comfortable trying to get it another way. He said there is no hard and fast rules just that the outcome needs to be the same. I’m sure I will get it no problem. So that is pretty exciting. Do any of you have any idea how expensive knives are? It is insane. But at the same time I guess that is how I make my bread and butter (aren’t I clever lol)

So as if that weren’t enough of a day... Chef E gave me an official title today. I am now the latest, greatest, inspired and ready to go Apprentice Cook in the history of Apprentice Cooks. Watch out Saucier, here I come (Soon anyway though Chef A has nothing to worry about).

Anthony Bourdain once said; "Bad food is made without pride, by cooks who have no pride, and no love. Bad food is made by Chefs who are indifferent, or who are trying to be everything to everybody, who are trying to please everyone ... Bad food is fake food ... food that shows fear and lack of confidence in people’s ability to discern or to make decisions about their lives. Food that’s too safe, too pasteurized, too healthy – it’s bad! There should be some risk, like unpasteurized cheese. Food is about rot, and decay, and fermentation….as much as it is also about freshness." Food truly is about experimentation and yes even traveling outside of those very safe comfort zones you’ve created. Start thinking about that. Why do you not like a certain food? Why are you afraid?

Sorry I could keep writing but I must go and do my homework. Stay tuned for the amazing adventures of Jan 25 of this newbie Apprentice Cook in the weeds and loving it.

SDM

By the way, I have decided that I am now going to call the restaurant for the purposes here Reserved! Anyone object?