To grill or not to grill, that is the question,
whether is nobler in the mind to prep cook,
the line, functions with canapes and plated dinners,
or to rise above the flame to own the stainless steel,
and by rising to become more,
to grill, to plate,
summer more,
and thus the native hue of resolution,
is steel brushed with the pale cast of thought,
this enterprise of great joy,
and gain the name of action,
sear, char, gently now,
the fair silvered grill on patio fair,
be all my work remembered,
and this summer to aid my days,
restaurant forth,
to learn...
For some reason Hamlet popped into my head after having a conversation with Chef J yesterday. It looks like I will be outside working on the patio for the next little while on top of doing my work with L.
As well I want to give a big shout out for the return of our Saucier A. We missed you bud and we're thrilled that your back. I can hardly wait to be regaled with tales of merry old England and the kitchen.
Oh well, off to work I go...
JFK once said; “We choose to go...not because [it is] easy, but because [it is] hard, because that goal will serve to measure and organize the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.”
Dream big and inspired today...
A la prochaine
SDM
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Daily Rind (file under play with words)
We all experience some sort of grind in our lives. Some of us went into fields that we didn’t choose for any other reason than money, fame or whatever. Those of us who chose to do something that we are passionate about don’t experience the daily grind but instead the daily rind.
The tough exterior, which protects us from the miscues, mistakes, and all around troubles, that tend to bring us down. I myself have seen that this rind has caused me to polish my interior and toughen my exterior. HONESTY! It is a marvelous thing.
So the past few weeks have been quite amazing for me. As I wrote about I had my review that left me feeling quite good about what I am doing. I went to Mexico that gave pause for reflection and time to relax, recharge my batteries and to come back transformed. My spirit soaring I’ve looked at the first five months of my experience at Reservation and come to understand much about myself and the world we live in.
I have become healthier, wealthier (in spirit) and wiser. I have adjusted things about myself that were either unconstructive or downright bad within myself and realized that the key to happiness is not some abstract that most people search for. It is in fact living the life that you want to live. In a lot of ways I think that the term hedonistic could describe me. It is not a perfect term by any stretch of the imagination but it certainly does have a lot of cache with respect to myself.
So what’s new at Reservation. Well we are definitely in our busy season. Since getting back last week I have been at work at around 9:30 every morning and gotten home as late as 1 am. By the time I get home I am drawn and tired but happier than I have ever been.
I started working this week in earnest on my knife skills (and no its not so that I don’t lose another digit tip although…). In fact there was a firing at work last week for whatever reason (I know but I won’t say here) and as a result there was lots of slack to be picked up. On a side note, the person that was fired had done the stock for me when I was away and when I returned to the batch I returned to I WAS DISMAYED and SHOCKED as it was nowhere near the quality that I care for. I could tell from its cloudiness that it had been boiled and that there was not the same care and attention that I put into my stocks (CHEF’s STOCKS). As a result of the firing I was asked to work on some things that I hadn’t been asked to in a while. Of course my brunoise has become quite good as I get daily practice with it and find myself getting better and faster with each attempt.
Head Chef asked how my knife skills were and I told him that they were improving daily. He asked me to do a quarter of an inch Rissole on three different items, carrot, fennel and potato. Head Chef is hard on me, not as hard as he could be to be sure but nonetheless he is hard on me. AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR IT! He wants me to win, wants me to succeed and see my dream come to life. My first attempt was a rush job and it was treated with little or no regard. However, the next day he asked me to do the same while at the same time L and I were trying to set up a party. As I was under the gun and did not have perfect timing to do this I did a quick job and the results showed it. Head Chef went through them with a pair of tweezers and pulled aside the good from the “bad.” He said he was trying to see if he could get the bad to exceed or equal the good. Of course he did and though it sucks to be put under that microscope I appreciate it.
Another thing I noticed this week is that if I am going to do a job I want to do the best job that I can possibly do. I was assigned the task of cleaning the grills as we are coming into the patio season. It would be easy to get discouraged when asked to do such a tedious and dirty job but instead I took it as a challenge. They were truly dirty and needed several hours to get them clean. Most would complain (and some do) at some of the things that I’ve had to do in the past week. But I am discovering that everything I am doing is in the service of my goals and stated ambitions. I treat every job I get as a challenge that helps to get me to where I want to go. I don’t want to complain, I don’t want to be like others who begrudge. I’m kind of like that kid who is searching though all the horse crap in his room because somewhere in there there has to be a horse. AND I AM FINDING THE HORSE in EVERYTHING I am doing. After all every single thing that I do is in service of that which I KNOW I will ATTAIN with purposeful movement and clarity of purpose.
My stocks are now consistent in clarity, colour and flavour. My yield is remarkably similar. The reason that I mention this that there are any countless number of variables that can affect the clarity, colour and consistency.
I have started making soups on a weekly basis. The soups at Reservation get passed in terms of responsibility according to the weight of the work that anyone has on any given day. C had come in for dinner on Thursday and got treated to my very delicious Tomato Pepper Puree. It was great that she got to have it as I feel that it has been my best soup to date.
My speed with L and parties has gotten much better. I find myself managing my time better and realizing what can and can not be done within certain time frames as Head Chef and I have spoken about.
On a side note, I again want to mention how important the culture of the kitchen is. If there is an upset in the balance it will be reflected in the food that comes out of it. Though any of us that are crazy enough to work in a kitchen are probably somewhat out of whack with the rest of the world we all come together and make the behemoth of the environment work. We all spend far more time with each other than we do with our family and friends and while in the past this may have been true, the difference I find is that we actually want to hang out with each other when we are done work. We all have a beer and laugh about the kitchen and then move on to other conversations. I know that as the summer goes on we will be doing that more and more and I truly, as I’ve said before, feel as if I have found a place where I am accepted and that I am part of a wider family.
I didn’t bring my book home as I was leaving right from work the other day to go out to make dinner at a friends place. It is for this reason that I am writing in generalities today. But my next day off I will outline all the salient points that are specific that I may have missed in this post.
That said, I again want to remind you that you are the masters of your own destiny. You have the ability, the strength, the drive and the determination to be anything you want to be. All you have to do is acknowledge that little voice inside of you and then claim your victory, one step, stock, or handful at a time. I believe in you and you should believe in yourself.
I leave you with two quotes today, William Jennings Bryan once said; “Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
And
Thomas Carlyle said; “The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong”
Destiny therefore is a matter of stepping toward that which you believe in.
Be Inspired and Dream BIG!
A la prochaine
SDM
The tough exterior, which protects us from the miscues, mistakes, and all around troubles, that tend to bring us down. I myself have seen that this rind has caused me to polish my interior and toughen my exterior. HONESTY! It is a marvelous thing.
So the past few weeks have been quite amazing for me. As I wrote about I had my review that left me feeling quite good about what I am doing. I went to Mexico that gave pause for reflection and time to relax, recharge my batteries and to come back transformed. My spirit soaring I’ve looked at the first five months of my experience at Reservation and come to understand much about myself and the world we live in.
I have become healthier, wealthier (in spirit) and wiser. I have adjusted things about myself that were either unconstructive or downright bad within myself and realized that the key to happiness is not some abstract that most people search for. It is in fact living the life that you want to live. In a lot of ways I think that the term hedonistic could describe me. It is not a perfect term by any stretch of the imagination but it certainly does have a lot of cache with respect to myself.
So what’s new at Reservation. Well we are definitely in our busy season. Since getting back last week I have been at work at around 9:30 every morning and gotten home as late as 1 am. By the time I get home I am drawn and tired but happier than I have ever been.
I started working this week in earnest on my knife skills (and no its not so that I don’t lose another digit tip although…). In fact there was a firing at work last week for whatever reason (I know but I won’t say here) and as a result there was lots of slack to be picked up. On a side note, the person that was fired had done the stock for me when I was away and when I returned to the batch I returned to I WAS DISMAYED and SHOCKED as it was nowhere near the quality that I care for. I could tell from its cloudiness that it had been boiled and that there was not the same care and attention that I put into my stocks (CHEF’s STOCKS). As a result of the firing I was asked to work on some things that I hadn’t been asked to in a while. Of course my brunoise has become quite good as I get daily practice with it and find myself getting better and faster with each attempt.
Head Chef asked how my knife skills were and I told him that they were improving daily. He asked me to do a quarter of an inch Rissole on three different items, carrot, fennel and potato. Head Chef is hard on me, not as hard as he could be to be sure but nonetheless he is hard on me. AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR IT! He wants me to win, wants me to succeed and see my dream come to life. My first attempt was a rush job and it was treated with little or no regard. However, the next day he asked me to do the same while at the same time L and I were trying to set up a party. As I was under the gun and did not have perfect timing to do this I did a quick job and the results showed it. Head Chef went through them with a pair of tweezers and pulled aside the good from the “bad.” He said he was trying to see if he could get the bad to exceed or equal the good. Of course he did and though it sucks to be put under that microscope I appreciate it.
Another thing I noticed this week is that if I am going to do a job I want to do the best job that I can possibly do. I was assigned the task of cleaning the grills as we are coming into the patio season. It would be easy to get discouraged when asked to do such a tedious and dirty job but instead I took it as a challenge. They were truly dirty and needed several hours to get them clean. Most would complain (and some do) at some of the things that I’ve had to do in the past week. But I am discovering that everything I am doing is in the service of my goals and stated ambitions. I treat every job I get as a challenge that helps to get me to where I want to go. I don’t want to complain, I don’t want to be like others who begrudge. I’m kind of like that kid who is searching though all the horse crap in his room because somewhere in there there has to be a horse. AND I AM FINDING THE HORSE in EVERYTHING I am doing. After all every single thing that I do is in service of that which I KNOW I will ATTAIN with purposeful movement and clarity of purpose.
My stocks are now consistent in clarity, colour and flavour. My yield is remarkably similar. The reason that I mention this that there are any countless number of variables that can affect the clarity, colour and consistency.
I have started making soups on a weekly basis. The soups at Reservation get passed in terms of responsibility according to the weight of the work that anyone has on any given day. C had come in for dinner on Thursday and got treated to my very delicious Tomato Pepper Puree. It was great that she got to have it as I feel that it has been my best soup to date.
My speed with L and parties has gotten much better. I find myself managing my time better and realizing what can and can not be done within certain time frames as Head Chef and I have spoken about.
On a side note, I again want to mention how important the culture of the kitchen is. If there is an upset in the balance it will be reflected in the food that comes out of it. Though any of us that are crazy enough to work in a kitchen are probably somewhat out of whack with the rest of the world we all come together and make the behemoth of the environment work. We all spend far more time with each other than we do with our family and friends and while in the past this may have been true, the difference I find is that we actually want to hang out with each other when we are done work. We all have a beer and laugh about the kitchen and then move on to other conversations. I know that as the summer goes on we will be doing that more and more and I truly, as I’ve said before, feel as if I have found a place where I am accepted and that I am part of a wider family.
I didn’t bring my book home as I was leaving right from work the other day to go out to make dinner at a friends place. It is for this reason that I am writing in generalities today. But my next day off I will outline all the salient points that are specific that I may have missed in this post.
That said, I again want to remind you that you are the masters of your own destiny. You have the ability, the strength, the drive and the determination to be anything you want to be. All you have to do is acknowledge that little voice inside of you and then claim your victory, one step, stock, or handful at a time. I believe in you and you should believe in yourself.
I leave you with two quotes today, William Jennings Bryan once said; “Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
And
Thomas Carlyle said; “The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong”
Destiny therefore is a matter of stepping toward that which you believe in.
Be Inspired and Dream BIG!
A la prochaine
SDM
Classics Revisited (file under Tuning in and letting go)
This past year has been one of massive change for me. My life has been as storied as any of the greatest comedies and tragedies. I was brought into the world at a pivotal moment and became a younger brother to a brother and sister and an older brother to three brothers and two sisters. My parents divorced at a pivotal moment in my life and this jaded me to much of what I saw around me. It provided me with insight into love, life, the way that the world operates and caused me to withdraw heavily from most of what I did.
The divorce and the resultant years of turmoil left me with more questions than answers. It caused me to create a dream world where everything was champagne and caviar because what I was dealing with was so emotionally damning for myself that I needed an escape. As I got older that escape became less dependant on dream worlds and more dependant on the very real (though no less insane) experiences that I was having. I’ve worked in the surreal world of advertising and politics. I had always found great discontent with anything I was doing because the reward was not for the world and certainly not for me. As a result I’ve also held numerous unglamorous jobs which had left me wanting and waiting. I was a mess, a real mess, trying to sort out my life, what it meant to be part of a family, dealing with the daily struggle of ups and downs. Last year however this all changed…
I began to look at my life as it related to my own relationship. I’m dearly and passionately in love with my fiancé C. She has been the greatest gift I have ever been given. She gave me grounding. She would and still does allow me to look at myself through the lens of reality in a way that allows me to face myself. Up until last year I had only tried to face myself. Yet in the last six months I have faced myself. I have challenged myself to become the man that I always wanted to be (and in fact was deep inside). As I looked at my relationship I knew that I needed to find something to do with my life which was rewarding to me as there could be no reward for anyone else if I continued on the miserable path that I was on. As such, as I’ve said before I woke up in November of 2007 and bit the bullet. I found myself looking into the mirror, my soul and my life and realized that my destiny was in the kitchen.
As I made this realization I started doing my due diligence and exploring where I wanted to be, with whom and why. The list was small and I did in fact land where I wanted to. Though the hours are long and hard, they are by far the most rewarding that I’ve ever had (minus the time that I’ve spent working with children in numerous capacities, Counselor, the Hugh McMillan Centre, Karate Instructor, etc.). Landing where I did caused me to do an internal evaluation of me. I retreated as so often I have into books. I’ve written countless volumes since my parents divorce in all kinds of capacities. I’ve written for politicians, advertising companies and myself. At last guess I would say that I’ve written well over one hundred and fifty thousand pages of various sizes and shapes.
Retreating into books, I’ve found that the subjects, subconsciously were all directing me toward a deeper and more complete understanding of myself. Since January my reading has included (but certainly is not limited to);
The Bible (About one third done)
The Koran (ditto)
The Bhagavad Gita
Ulysses
The Portrait of Dorian Grey
War and Peace
Crime and Punishment
Catch 22
Slaughterhouse Five
The Great Gatsby
The Beautiful and the Damned
A Moveable Feast
Food in History
Candide
The Art of Virtue
I’ve also read all kinds of books for spiritual advice including those by Elizabeth Gilbert, Osho, Confucius and many many more not to mention the countless volumes on the kitchen I've ripped through
My choice to return to the classics is heavily indicative of the strong influence my mother had on me. She is a Saint in every sense of the word and gave to me a great gift in my love of reading. From the list, if any of you have read some or all of these, each has a character with a Shakespearean fatal flaw. I recognize the fatal flaws in each as my own and that caused me to reevaluate my life even as I embarked on the wonderful journey I am on now.
That said, I wrote last week on my butcher paper that I am purging myself of the ugliness of my past. I am absolving myself of my sins and returning to myself as I have always envisioned. I outwardly manifest this and will continue to for the rest of my days. It has not been easy to come to this point. Nor will it always be easy but I think that I have discovered as my next tattoo will be (I’ve said it for a long time) the Latin “Nosce Te Ipsum,” which translates to Know Thyself. I don’t think it is easy to know yourself but as I continue to grow comfortable in my own shell and with the life that I’ve chosen to live I acknowledge it every time I step out my door and into the kitchen. I now know myself, recognize and work toward bettering my flaws and have come to know for certain that life’s reward is dependant on me and no one else.
I hope that in all of this, you, my readers can see, that my exploration of brutal honesty with regard to me, my past and my future are the hallmarks of a man that is coming into his own. So hold on, the ride may be bumpy, but it certainly is going to continue to be the honest representation of what it means to be me.
As I wrote on my butcher paper on May 15th;
Feelings of abandonment,
Remnants of a childhood,
Scarred by disappointment,
Of familial longing,
And the fear of separation,
Have too long diminished my character,
And left me wanting,
Shaping me in an ineffectual way,
Inconsistent with whom I am on the inside,
Now is the time,
To nip it in the bud,
To press ahead full tilt,
Creating the life I want,
Rooted in truth,
And acceptance of what I am,
And my daily struggle for what I choose to be,
I will no longer be victim to my past,
And instead OWN my future,
No longer a fifteen year old boy,
I must now be a thirty three year old man,
Transformation begun,
I will now find peace,
In understanding,
ME!
A famous surgeon, an innovator, Dr. Alexis Carrel once said; “Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.” I have suffered and may still do but now I move forward like Michelangelo. I hope you can too.
Dream Inspired and BIG!
A la prochaine
SDM
The divorce and the resultant years of turmoil left me with more questions than answers. It caused me to create a dream world where everything was champagne and caviar because what I was dealing with was so emotionally damning for myself that I needed an escape. As I got older that escape became less dependant on dream worlds and more dependant on the very real (though no less insane) experiences that I was having. I’ve worked in the surreal world of advertising and politics. I had always found great discontent with anything I was doing because the reward was not for the world and certainly not for me. As a result I’ve also held numerous unglamorous jobs which had left me wanting and waiting. I was a mess, a real mess, trying to sort out my life, what it meant to be part of a family, dealing with the daily struggle of ups and downs. Last year however this all changed…
I began to look at my life as it related to my own relationship. I’m dearly and passionately in love with my fiancé C. She has been the greatest gift I have ever been given. She gave me grounding. She would and still does allow me to look at myself through the lens of reality in a way that allows me to face myself. Up until last year I had only tried to face myself. Yet in the last six months I have faced myself. I have challenged myself to become the man that I always wanted to be (and in fact was deep inside). As I looked at my relationship I knew that I needed to find something to do with my life which was rewarding to me as there could be no reward for anyone else if I continued on the miserable path that I was on. As such, as I’ve said before I woke up in November of 2007 and bit the bullet. I found myself looking into the mirror, my soul and my life and realized that my destiny was in the kitchen.
As I made this realization I started doing my due diligence and exploring where I wanted to be, with whom and why. The list was small and I did in fact land where I wanted to. Though the hours are long and hard, they are by far the most rewarding that I’ve ever had (minus the time that I’ve spent working with children in numerous capacities, Counselor, the Hugh McMillan Centre, Karate Instructor, etc.). Landing where I did caused me to do an internal evaluation of me. I retreated as so often I have into books. I’ve written countless volumes since my parents divorce in all kinds of capacities. I’ve written for politicians, advertising companies and myself. At last guess I would say that I’ve written well over one hundred and fifty thousand pages of various sizes and shapes.
Retreating into books, I’ve found that the subjects, subconsciously were all directing me toward a deeper and more complete understanding of myself. Since January my reading has included (but certainly is not limited to);
The Bible (About one third done)
The Koran (ditto)
The Bhagavad Gita
Ulysses
The Portrait of Dorian Grey
War and Peace
Crime and Punishment
Catch 22
Slaughterhouse Five
The Great Gatsby
The Beautiful and the Damned
A Moveable Feast
Food in History
Candide
The Art of Virtue
I’ve also read all kinds of books for spiritual advice including those by Elizabeth Gilbert, Osho, Confucius and many many more not to mention the countless volumes on the kitchen I've ripped through
My choice to return to the classics is heavily indicative of the strong influence my mother had on me. She is a Saint in every sense of the word and gave to me a great gift in my love of reading. From the list, if any of you have read some or all of these, each has a character with a Shakespearean fatal flaw. I recognize the fatal flaws in each as my own and that caused me to reevaluate my life even as I embarked on the wonderful journey I am on now.
That said, I wrote last week on my butcher paper that I am purging myself of the ugliness of my past. I am absolving myself of my sins and returning to myself as I have always envisioned. I outwardly manifest this and will continue to for the rest of my days. It has not been easy to come to this point. Nor will it always be easy but I think that I have discovered as my next tattoo will be (I’ve said it for a long time) the Latin “Nosce Te Ipsum,” which translates to Know Thyself. I don’t think it is easy to know yourself but as I continue to grow comfortable in my own shell and with the life that I’ve chosen to live I acknowledge it every time I step out my door and into the kitchen. I now know myself, recognize and work toward bettering my flaws and have come to know for certain that life’s reward is dependant on me and no one else.
I hope that in all of this, you, my readers can see, that my exploration of brutal honesty with regard to me, my past and my future are the hallmarks of a man that is coming into his own. So hold on, the ride may be bumpy, but it certainly is going to continue to be the honest representation of what it means to be me.
As I wrote on my butcher paper on May 15th;
Feelings of abandonment,
Remnants of a childhood,
Scarred by disappointment,
Of familial longing,
And the fear of separation,
Have too long diminished my character,
And left me wanting,
Shaping me in an ineffectual way,
Inconsistent with whom I am on the inside,
Now is the time,
To nip it in the bud,
To press ahead full tilt,
Creating the life I want,
Rooted in truth,
And acceptance of what I am,
And my daily struggle for what I choose to be,
I will no longer be victim to my past,
And instead OWN my future,
No longer a fifteen year old boy,
I must now be a thirty three year old man,
Transformation begun,
I will now find peace,
In understanding,
ME!
A famous surgeon, an innovator, Dr. Alexis Carrel once said; “Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.” I have suffered and may still do but now I move forward like Michelangelo. I hope you can too.
Dream Inspired and BIG!
A la prochaine
SDM
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