In what might be one of the best inaugural speeches of a President (yet?), FDR in one of the most dire moments in American history reminded the industrious people of his country that fear can and should be overcome. For a moment, as a writer, I am asking you to stop reading to consider; what are you truly afraid of? I mean that thing that you haven’t even told your lover, best friend or family. What truly frightens you? Once you have thought about it… continue reading.
We currently live in an age in which fear is used as a tool of oppression by the elite against the under classes. Case in point is the result of the attack against the United States on September 11, 2001. The fear associated with that has been used to justify any number of things that without fear as the motivator would have never come to be. This is not something new either; it has existed since time immemorial, and will continue to, as long as you allow it. To understand even a glimpse of this you should read Buckminster Fuller’s great book; “The Great Pyrates,”
I bring this up as the result of some very real soul searching I have been doing. As you are well aware I have finally started the journey toward my self defined manifest destiny. I began the journey as the result of overcoming my fear – both real and imagined. As I have pointed out before there are any number of a million reasons to do something of which you dream and usually very few as to why you should not – FEAR being one of them. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the result. Of the work. Of the pain. Of the PLEASURE. Self created and directed fear that SOMEHOW is a more powerful motivator than the dream itself. And yet, right now, as I considered this post, shifting from okay I’ll write, to no no I’ll wait, I began to consider FDR’s very powerful and emotive statement.
For many years I was locked by expectation. By a self imposed belief that I had to do something to please my parents, siblings, girlfriends and friends at large. Much of what I felt was a personally created burden. One which recognized my own intelligence while at the same time allowed myself to be manipulated, cajoled, harnessed and used for some other persons purpose. AND TO WHAT RESULT? Was I happier, more intelligent, wealthier or somehow fulfilled by allowing my fear to dictate the actions I would take to define my own life?
Fears, however real they may have been, had taken root of my soul and resultant from this was my obedience, my comfort and my robot like motioning through life. AND FOR WHAT?
In almost every one of the two hundred thousand words I have written on this blog this year the most important appear at the end of each post; are you dreaming big and inspired? I recall writing early on about where my notion of dream came from but will remind you now.
In Pretty Woman there is a scene where a black vagabond is pushing a shopping cart down the street and he says; “What’s you dream? Everybody’s got a dream?” It has always stayed with me and repeats itself many times a day in my head.
It is not merely enough to have the dream. You have to be willing to live the dream. EVERY DAY. To take steps and actions toward that dream which are consistent with your integrity, character and drive. It is easy to sleep your way to the top. It’s a whole lot harder and more consistent with dreams to remain true to YOU and to take steps, however small, toward the fulfillment of that dream everyday. And when inevitably life hands you lemons – MAKE LEMONADE.
AS I sit here listening to Maria Callas I am struck how someone so intelligent could be so stupid as to undermine his own ambition by trying to be something someone else wanted. I wonder what would have happened if she became a seamstress or a dry cleaner shop owner. What would the world have been deprived of? Or Einstein. Or Tesla. Or FDR. OR YOU!
I am what is known as a stream of consciousness writer. Very rarely do I have to go back and change what I have written. Very rarely do I even think about it after it is on the page. I have read, reread and again this post. Taking four or five time as much time to write this as usual as I want to ensure that the point is made elegantly, succinctly and powerfully.
We have enormous power. Our dreams have enormous power. The question which haunts is whether we can overcome our fears and become what we most want. Gandhi did. Mother Teresa did. Martin Luther King Jr did. Can we? Are we brave enough to overcome? I firmly believe that we are!
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said; “He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
Ambrose Redmoon once said; “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”
Marie Curie once said; “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.”
Take this for what it is but I am a better man for having written it.
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Another word on the F Word (file under Christmas Dinner)
Guilty pleasure. Perhaps. Entertaining. Mildly. Informative – well I am still writing about it so there must be something to it.
Gordon Ramsay’s “The F Word” this past week was his Christmas special. I bring this up because while enjoying my guilty pleasure over the past couple of months I have watched as he educated his children as to the life cycle of Turkey in a very real and pragmatic way. He brought turkeys; four of them I believe, from almost birth, and allowed the children to establish a relationship with them. Of course there was the precocious announcement of names which were rather pedantic, but after all, it was children naming them.
I watched with great interest as he and his children played with the birds. Fattened them. Admired their personalities and basically reared them for their inevitable life cycle – Christmas dinner.
Say what you will about Gordon Ramsay, but you do have to admire the fact that he is teaching his children that food is not just something that we buy in markets. That it doesn’t come from some magical place in a land far away. That in fact we all have a part to play in the life cycle of our food. Whether it be vegetables or proteins. I am a big proponent of instilling in children the knowledge that food comes from places that can and should be understood. That yes, shock of horrors, vegetables do come from the ground and are covered with dirt. Shock of horrors, that proteins are raised to become our eventual meal and that in their final days, like inmates on death row, are treated to special diets which both fatten and nourish them, so that they can be even MORE delicious on our plate.
So I say congrats to Ramsay, but more so, to his children, for now having the knowledge that can only be learned from experience. A lasting experience which undoubtedly will leave an indelible mark on his children and countless others lives.
The venerable James Beard once said; “A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch”
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Gordon Ramsay’s “The F Word” this past week was his Christmas special. I bring this up because while enjoying my guilty pleasure over the past couple of months I have watched as he educated his children as to the life cycle of Turkey in a very real and pragmatic way. He brought turkeys; four of them I believe, from almost birth, and allowed the children to establish a relationship with them. Of course there was the precocious announcement of names which were rather pedantic, but after all, it was children naming them.
I watched with great interest as he and his children played with the birds. Fattened them. Admired their personalities and basically reared them for their inevitable life cycle – Christmas dinner.
Say what you will about Gordon Ramsay, but you do have to admire the fact that he is teaching his children that food is not just something that we buy in markets. That it doesn’t come from some magical place in a land far away. That in fact we all have a part to play in the life cycle of our food. Whether it be vegetables or proteins. I am a big proponent of instilling in children the knowledge that food comes from places that can and should be understood. That yes, shock of horrors, vegetables do come from the ground and are covered with dirt. Shock of horrors, that proteins are raised to become our eventual meal and that in their final days, like inmates on death row, are treated to special diets which both fatten and nourish them, so that they can be even MORE delicious on our plate.
So I say congrats to Ramsay, but more so, to his children, for now having the knowledge that can only be learned from experience. A lasting experience which undoubtedly will leave an indelible mark on his children and countless others lives.
The venerable James Beard once said; “A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch”
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Lament for my Arm Hair ( file under inevitable loss)
Several times a week,
Do I smell that familiar scent of,
OFF!
Reaching my arm as I do,
In contempt of fire,
Into the ring for a pan or a pot, a steak or a piece of fish.
Only to discover,
That my nose hairs begin to dance,
With that scent that can only be thrown by flame meeting hair.
Lament for my arm hair,
Oh yes indeed,
Looking down to discover a bare arm, where once there was hair.
And now what is this,
But a shriveled and disheveled,
Barren area of my arm that has been freed from its follicles by flame.
Several times a week,
Do I smell that oh so familiar scent,
Of my arm hair diminishing and in a weird kind of way I can for only a moment glimpse,
That which bows down on my grill or my flame,
And how it must feel,
But only for a moment,
For while I lament my hair,
I celebrate my journey.
Are you celebrating your journey? Are you dreaming big and inspired?
Logan Pearsall Smith once said “There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine”
I couldn’t agree more.
A la prochaine
SDM
Do I smell that familiar scent of,
OFF!
Reaching my arm as I do,
In contempt of fire,
Into the ring for a pan or a pot, a steak or a piece of fish.
Only to discover,
That my nose hairs begin to dance,
With that scent that can only be thrown by flame meeting hair.
Lament for my arm hair,
Oh yes indeed,
Looking down to discover a bare arm, where once there was hair.
And now what is this,
But a shriveled and disheveled,
Barren area of my arm that has been freed from its follicles by flame.
Several times a week,
Do I smell that oh so familiar scent,
Of my arm hair diminishing and in a weird kind of way I can for only a moment glimpse,
That which bows down on my grill or my flame,
And how it must feel,
But only for a moment,
For while I lament my hair,
I celebrate my journey.
Are you celebrating your journey? Are you dreaming big and inspired?
Logan Pearsall Smith once said “There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine”
I couldn’t agree more.
A la prochaine
SDM
Options (file under considerations weighing on me)
So what do I do? I’m sure this is a question that many of you have asked yourself over time. As I wrote about the other day this coming year is filled with all kinds of life changes that require mental acuity and planning.
Do I go to New York?
Do I got to Europe?
Do I take over my friends’ kitchen? (not by mutiny either)
Do I seek out a cruise ship cooking position?
Do I find another position in Toronto?
Do I approach the two standing job offers I have right now?
Lots on my plate.
These are just some of the questions that I am considering on top of my regular questions. Each has pros and cons connected with the decision and I have to tell you that to me the two most attractive are going to New York or going to Europe. But I just don’t know.
Vincent Van Gogh once said; “For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Do I go to New York?
Do I got to Europe?
Do I take over my friends’ kitchen? (not by mutiny either)
Do I seek out a cruise ship cooking position?
Do I find another position in Toronto?
Do I approach the two standing job offers I have right now?
Lots on my plate.
These are just some of the questions that I am considering on top of my regular questions. Each has pros and cons connected with the decision and I have to tell you that to me the two most attractive are going to New York or going to Europe. But I just don’t know.
Vincent Van Gogh once said; “For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
The Saga Continues… (file under continuation of To be Perfectly Frank (file under ARE YOU SERIOUS))
Anyone that knows me knows that the holidays are an incredibly tough time for me. There are numerous reasons for this that are outside the usual reasons that people don’t like the holidays. The first is that I have enormous amounts of guilt that well up around Christmas and around February. Though it has gotten better with time, there still remains, the remnants of a guilt and a pain that stays with me. I am going to make a concerted effort this year to leave it where it is.
However, I have to say, as I said in my post about Christmas, this year did not feel very Christmassy to me. And no I am not bemoaning Santa nor sugarplum fairies. Instead for the first time in a long time it just didn’t feel like Christmas. And please don’t read that I didn’t enjoy the company that I was with for Christmas because that wasn’t the case either.
Instead I got to begin my Christmas, as the above titled post suggests a less than stellar tongue lashing from the owner of my restaurant. And yes, the saga continues. Today after I was done work (truthfully I don’t even know what the purpose of being open was but not my call) Chef said that he wanted to see me before I went. I knew why and I took a deep breath as I changed.
We went out the side door and Chef asked what was up. I basically recounted for him what I did for you my readers. I told him that I felt that both my professionalism and my honour were attacked in the same breath. Anyone who knows me can tell you quite clearly that there are two things in my adult life that I am very proud of, one is my word and the other is my professionalism. I have done jobs which would make even the toughest stomached person fold. And I have done it with a smile on my face (98% of the time) and always acted in the highest possible professional standard. Thus when someone attacks my professionalism I am left at odds with that person.
To make matters even worse. I have a bad back. If I was Sir Smoke a Lot in “Half Baked” believe me the doctor would say that I need a backiotomy. I have a sciatic nerve pinch. This is a condition which usually causes extreme pain down one leg or the other from the coxic to the heel. Well I have the great fortune of suffering from pain in both anytime there is a ten degree jump in less than a twenty four hour period. It is excruciating and today it is killing me.
Thus while we are having the conversation it was plain as day on my face that I was both pissed at the situation and in incredible amounts of pain. As we spoke I made it quite plain that I felt I had been wronged. He made it plain as day that it is okay for me to feel that way but that I need to be able to swallow certain things. LIKE WHAT, should I bend over too? It is one thing to attack a persons professionalism if it is warranted BUT IT IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT MATTER TO ATTACK ONES CHARACTER.
I pointed out to Chef that while I feel I have been treated less than stellar in other circumstances in my culinary career never have I felt so angry, so jaded, so wronged as I did in this case. A talking down to, in a very inappropriate way, in front of my colleagues. INAPPROPRIATE. He did agree that I have had an exceptional culinary learning. That I am a quick study and super intelligent. But I still had a ways to go. Of course I agreed. I said that even forty years from now I will have more to learn in the kitchen. But in no way does that excuse how I was treated.
So now, I need to have a conversation with the owner. Let him know how I feel and then react to how he responds. I am already quite sure of how he will respond. At which point I have two choices, to continue working in an environment where the owner has no respect for either me as a person or as an employee OR TO LEAVE. Chef made it very clear that HE knows I can leave there tomorrow and get a job at any restaurant in the city. In truth the only thing that keeps me there currently is my professionalism and my respect for Chef.
So again, at Christmas time, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth. I am left considering my immediate future and my long term strategy to get to where I want to go. Who knew the kitchen would have so much to do with politics and chess?
I apologize, I think I just needed to vent now so I don’t fume tomorrow.
The Scottish writer William Shenstone once wrote; “Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.”
True.
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
However, I have to say, as I said in my post about Christmas, this year did not feel very Christmassy to me. And no I am not bemoaning Santa nor sugarplum fairies. Instead for the first time in a long time it just didn’t feel like Christmas. And please don’t read that I didn’t enjoy the company that I was with for Christmas because that wasn’t the case either.
Instead I got to begin my Christmas, as the above titled post suggests a less than stellar tongue lashing from the owner of my restaurant. And yes, the saga continues. Today after I was done work (truthfully I don’t even know what the purpose of being open was but not my call) Chef said that he wanted to see me before I went. I knew why and I took a deep breath as I changed.
We went out the side door and Chef asked what was up. I basically recounted for him what I did for you my readers. I told him that I felt that both my professionalism and my honour were attacked in the same breath. Anyone who knows me can tell you quite clearly that there are two things in my adult life that I am very proud of, one is my word and the other is my professionalism. I have done jobs which would make even the toughest stomached person fold. And I have done it with a smile on my face (98% of the time) and always acted in the highest possible professional standard. Thus when someone attacks my professionalism I am left at odds with that person.
To make matters even worse. I have a bad back. If I was Sir Smoke a Lot in “Half Baked” believe me the doctor would say that I need a backiotomy. I have a sciatic nerve pinch. This is a condition which usually causes extreme pain down one leg or the other from the coxic to the heel. Well I have the great fortune of suffering from pain in both anytime there is a ten degree jump in less than a twenty four hour period. It is excruciating and today it is killing me.
Thus while we are having the conversation it was plain as day on my face that I was both pissed at the situation and in incredible amounts of pain. As we spoke I made it quite plain that I felt I had been wronged. He made it plain as day that it is okay for me to feel that way but that I need to be able to swallow certain things. LIKE WHAT, should I bend over too? It is one thing to attack a persons professionalism if it is warranted BUT IT IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT MATTER TO ATTACK ONES CHARACTER.
I pointed out to Chef that while I feel I have been treated less than stellar in other circumstances in my culinary career never have I felt so angry, so jaded, so wronged as I did in this case. A talking down to, in a very inappropriate way, in front of my colleagues. INAPPROPRIATE. He did agree that I have had an exceptional culinary learning. That I am a quick study and super intelligent. But I still had a ways to go. Of course I agreed. I said that even forty years from now I will have more to learn in the kitchen. But in no way does that excuse how I was treated.
So now, I need to have a conversation with the owner. Let him know how I feel and then react to how he responds. I am already quite sure of how he will respond. At which point I have two choices, to continue working in an environment where the owner has no respect for either me as a person or as an employee OR TO LEAVE. Chef made it very clear that HE knows I can leave there tomorrow and get a job at any restaurant in the city. In truth the only thing that keeps me there currently is my professionalism and my respect for Chef.
So again, at Christmas time, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth. I am left considering my immediate future and my long term strategy to get to where I want to go. Who knew the kitchen would have so much to do with politics and chess?
I apologize, I think I just needed to vent now so I don’t fume tomorrow.
The Scottish writer William Shenstone once wrote; “Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.”
True.
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Christmas and New Years (file under reflections)
For what seemed like the first time in a real long time I did not spend Christmas with my family. For what seemed like the first time in a long time the family was spread all over the world (mostly Canada but also Malawi). It left me a little sad as I thought back to the obnoxiously loud celebration of Christmas, Solstice, Hanukah, Kwanza or Chrismahannakwanza.
I spent most of Christmas and the ensuing day asleep. More out of a deep body tired than anything else. Catching up on much needed rest. Of course I did do a ridiculously large bone in Prime Rib which I’ve included pictures of.
I spent a lot of time, as I am now, considering what the next year holds. C and I are going to get married. She is going to finish year one of her training at Stella Adler. I am going to finish year two of my hands on training and be one step closer to realizing my goal for my fortieth birthday. While I think about the sadness of not being with my entire family at Christmas I also thought about the joy of dreaming and the result of action.
My purpose which seems to have manifested both through my culinary journey and my ability to put to paper what the journey has been like is a source of pride for me. It marks the first time in my life that I have accepted that which I can not change. I WAS MADE TO DO THIS.
I guess the ultimate purpose of this post is to wish that all of you find joy and happiness through your friends and families in the coming year as well as personal success in whatever your dreams are. If you have not as yet designed, deciphered or discovered what your dream is, there is no time like the present to try and figure out what it means to you.
Dr. Seuss once said; “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
I spent most of Christmas and the ensuing day asleep. More out of a deep body tired than anything else. Catching up on much needed rest. Of course I did do a ridiculously large bone in Prime Rib which I’ve included pictures of.
I spent a lot of time, as I am now, considering what the next year holds. C and I are going to get married. She is going to finish year one of her training at Stella Adler. I am going to finish year two of my hands on training and be one step closer to realizing my goal for my fortieth birthday. While I think about the sadness of not being with my entire family at Christmas I also thought about the joy of dreaming and the result of action.
My purpose which seems to have manifested both through my culinary journey and my ability to put to paper what the journey has been like is a source of pride for me. It marks the first time in my life that I have accepted that which I can not change. I WAS MADE TO DO THIS.
I guess the ultimate purpose of this post is to wish that all of you find joy and happiness through your friends and families in the coming year as well as personal success in whatever your dreams are. If you have not as yet designed, deciphered or discovered what your dream is, there is no time like the present to try and figure out what it means to you.
Dr. Seuss once said; “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
