You Really Have to Want It (file under things you know but need to know better)

In the last post I ended with the following quote;

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

Never has this been more true to me than in the past six months. I had a dream of becoming something honest. Something real, if only to myself, that I could look upon and be proud of. Something that I could look back on when I was eighty years old and say; “YES, I did that!” I have mentioned many times how I feel that cooking is one of the most honest professions in the world because you can’t lie, the food either is good or not, and more importantly is absolutely a reflection of the person that prepared it. This is as true for the person at the corner deli as it is for someone working in a Michelin starred restaurant.

True character is the result of the way that we deal with situations, challenges and obstacles, and the way that we derive knowledge from them. This knowledge would not be quite as good if it were developed in a library or through self study. In my case it is coming through the militaristic kitchen and the general that runs it. You need to suffer, you need to be yelled at, you need to feel that you messed something up and be so ashamed of it that you won’t make the same mistake again.

I have never lacked in character. I have always been hard working and filled with integrity. But now, that I have chosen this, and incidentally do not plan on letting go of ever, I can see that in this case Keller is referring to the character that comes with the painful experiences. Those that are filled with self doubt, admonition, and possibly even shame.

In the last six months I have gone from knowing absolutely nothing about the way that a professional kitchen worked. I have taken a passion that was plain for the world to see and started on a path that will see me open my own restaurant (subject of the next post incidentally). In the kitchen setting it is one thing to be shown how to do something, but it is a whole other ball of wax to have to do that something in a very limited time frame and properly as six people might be waiting for the outcome.

I have learned about myself. I have found that the strength that I have always had is a necessary tool in the arsenal I am developing to be the best Chef in the world. Not only that but in the absence of that strength I would have already fallen victim to the kitchen as so many do.

Part of that character I refer to is that in this pursuit, I am not motivated by some glamorous reward. I don’t think, in fact I know, that there is no restaurant leprechaun with the proverbial pot of gold. There may be a comfortable living and what’s more one which is personally, spiritually, emotionally and mentally rewarding to me but quite possibly nothing more. And for the first time in my life I am comfortable with that.

I think that in the age of food proliferation (as I’ve termed it) in the industrialized world people have come to see these Chefs that are on the food network, etc and they actually think that this is the norm. They think that it is normal for someone to be a Marco Pierre White, a Gordon Ramsay or a Robert Irvine. I’m sure its true in other industries too however I think that in this age of food proliferation people believe that it is as easy as throwing something in a pan, cooking and serving it. What those people don’t see is that most Chefs are up at the crack of dawn at a market somewhere making sure that they get the best ingredients they can. They then develop a menu, discover its potential, figure out the costing, plating, etc. The norm is this not the glamorized, hollywoodized version.

LET ME ASSURE YOU THE KITCHEN IS NOTHING LIKE WHAT YOU THINK!

As I have previously mentioned there are all kinds of people in the kitchen. Some who are just there for the pay cheque (which is kind of comical because in reality the money is shit), there are others there because they love to cook and then there are the limited few like me who actually want there own restaurant. I can count on two fingers the number of people who want their own restaurant in that building right now (not including Executive Chef and Head Chef). A and I are the only ones. And truth be told I know that somewhere down the road he and I will probably be affiliated in some way.

It’s a long hard journey I am on. Everyday is a struggle. A struggle with myself, with my wants and desires, with those things expected of me. But I am the champion of my own destiny and I plan on honouring that as I want to have my own personal success for me. FOR ME.

A and I talk quite frequently and he jokingly pushes me forward by saying; “You know S, you really have to want it. Yeah!” I will say of course and then he’ll say ; “But I’m not sure you really do!”

He says it jokingly but my answer to that is if I didn’t want it why would I subject myself to what I do everyday. I don’t wake up in the morning and question what I am doing. I wake up feeling alive and refreshed and ready to go. AND YOU KNOW WHY, BECAUSE I DO REALLY WANT IT and I KNOW I WILL GET THERE because my character is not being developed in ease and quiet, instead it is developing through the flame, with the fire, with every cut, bruise and burn I get.

Prior to this year I was crippled by self doubt. I was afraid of my potential and myself. Now instead of being afraid of it I embrace it and accept myself for what I am. A hard working man who wants nothing more than to feel the love of his family and friends and to feel at the end of the day that I did something honest and that mattered.

What about you? What do you want?

Henry David Thoreau once said; “Dreams are the touchstones of our character.”

I AGREE.

What is your dream? Have you thought about it today? Did you take a baby step to the elevator? It all starts with just one step…

DREAM BIG AND INSPIRED.

A la prochaine

SDM