Bringing Loved Ones into the Fold

This past Saturday after a long day I sat down with all my colleagues and waited for C to be done at the bar. As so often happens it is a rag tag group of mainly Chefs and cooks with a few servers interlaced. This week Executive Chef’s girlfriend was also with us and we struck up a conversation about my blog and excellence. S is an interesting woman. She is our event lead and very capable.

As we spoke we started with my introducing C to the family and how that may or may not have been a good idea. We both agreed that in this case it probably was a good idea because it would give her a greater insight into what I am going through on a daily basis. Introduce her to the realities of the life that I have chosen for my own selfish reasons and possibly produce some understanding and compassion. All things that I agree with. I try to explain to C what it is like to go through the transformation that I am going through and the journey that I am on. I think, for anyone, not just her, it would be near impossible to understand the complexities of the kitchen without having actually been in the environment yourself. But to C’s credit, she is working to understand what I go through. Not just because she loves me, but I think, almost as importantly, it is an interesting life that we chose to live. Although sometimes, especially recently, I have been feeling that the life, “this thing of ours,” as Anthony Bourdain says, chooses us.

At any rate, S and I then started talking about my blog. She told me how much she appreciated it, as it gives everyone that reads it a greater window into our vagabond lifestyles. The fearless. The free. The misfits of society that purge their souls to make your plates the delicious feasts that they are. All the while remaining hidden behind the iron curtain of sizzling pans and moaning convection ovens.

As we spoke S and I both expressed our desire that a server, a bartender, hell, even a dishwasher do the same thing that I am. As from that there would emerge the most accurate representation of the industry.

I told her that I was going to include, however briefly, this conversation.

Another interesting thing happened on Sunday which also relates to this topic. There was an issue, which I will not be specific about, between some members of the kitchen staff. There is a breakwater between the front of house and back of house. In fact it is one that is never breached. The front of house deals with the front of house and the back of house deals with the back of house. There is no overlay and no reason for interaction in the affairs of the other. Especially as relates to working relationships. At any rate A and Pastry Chef J had come by the grill after watching the Jays lose. I made them a late lunch and they decided once the rain started that they would wait for me and we all would go for a drink.

Finished my duties I punched out and A and I were waiting for Pastry Chef J. For some reason one of the kitchen staff was crying. Of course I know the reason but I am being somewhat diplomatic here. First mistake… CRYING in the KITCHEN! What are you thinking? So of course the event got a little blown out of proportion when one of the hostesses decided to get involved and came and started speaking to A and I like she might someone in the front of the house. I casually reminded her, through her raving, that it was not a good idea for her to get involved in what clearly involved the “culture” in the back of house. She continued. Well needless to say the event became a multitude of issues all rolled into one.

The first was the initiator of the event by crying. To those of us that are older we recognize the negative attention seeking involved with the crying incident which was the result of a comment that in the kitchen should not make anyone cry. The second was the hostess feeling that it was okay for her to get involved.

The result was that Pastry Chef J had to deal with the initiator and A and I had to go for a drink before she could come. Of course in the end everything worked out for the better but it really got me to thinking about the disconnect between the front of house and the back. How the breakwater has to exist. How there can not be some incestuous relationship between the two as it would degrade the working culture of the kitchen.

In the end when C was hearing “us,” the back of house creatures that we are discuss the event she was not impressed. I tried to explain to her that that is how the kitchen operates and it is not likely to change. As long as there are cooks. As long as there is food to be cooked by misfits, miscreants and me, it would appear the kitchen dynamic will remain explosive. BUT IT WORKS! At any rate, when C and I spoke about it, she was none to impressed and I tried to explain as best I could. In the end she understood what I was saying but not the culture aspect of it. I know that as time goes by she will and so will the rest of you.

Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote; “A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.” HOW TRUE!

Are you dreaming big and inspired? Did you do something today that was new? Frightening? Are you ready to live? TODAY?

A la prochaine

SDM