All in All (file under Just another brick in the wall?)

Other than the obvious Pink Floyd reference another song is inside my head at the moment. As is so often the case when I am considering big picture issues songs are the bastions that I run to. That or great literature. In any case, Dave Matthews Band has a song entitled “Where are you going?” And today this song is on my mind big time. The lyrics are as follows;

Where are you going?
With your long face
Pulling down
Don't hide away
Like an ocean
That you can't see but you can smell
And the sound of the waves crash down

I am no Superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero
Oh, that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I want to be

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Are you looking for answers
To questions under the stars?
Well, if along the way
You are grown weary
You can rest with me until
A brighter day and you're okay

I am no Superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero
Oh, that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I want to be

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Where do you go?
Where are you going?

Where do you go?

I am no Superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero
Oh, that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is here you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I want to be

Where are you going?
Where do you go?
Tell me, where are you going?
Where?
Well, let's go

Ultimately I believe that my current station in life is asking this very question of myself. I am reaching into the deepest reaches of my soul to figure out where I am going. And to be honest it is not such an easy consideration. I guess like anything in life.

I have been at Reservation for the past 10 months and 3 days. (Has it been that long already?) In that time I have learned so much that it is almost mind boggling. You’ll all recall that over the course of the summer I became a little disconnected from my own dream because I had to work the grill. It was not what I had signed up to do but I learned through that experience that you need humility to survive in the world that I am breaking into. The summer was less than what I wanted but I did learn some very important things that I will take with me for the rest of my life. If you need a refresher go to http://newbieintheweeds.blogspot.com/2008/05/to-grill-or-not-to-grill.html , http://newbieintheweeds.blogspot.com/2008/07/grill-file-under-im-not-mcdonalds.html or http://newbieintheweeds.blogspot.com/2008/05/bad-duh-da-duh-file-under-im-lovin-it.html and http://newbieintheweeds.blogspot.com/2008/07/mcgrill-file-under-just-another-weekend.html.

A few times this year (predominantly in the summer) I mused about the trade off that I had made with now Director of Operation and now Executive Chef. In that I would show up for work tirelessly, work my ass off and be a valuable member of the team in return for the imparting of knowledge upon me that would aid me in my well stated and parsed out goal.

Well for the last few months I have not really felt that I have learned much. I (and I am being brutally honest) at times feel as if I am just a body getting things done. I feel as if what I am doing is of no more consequence than if it were someone else. AND I DON’T LIKE THAT FEELING AT ALL. But moreover, and to my mind more troubling, is the fact that I feel as if I have stagnated in my development, with the exception of the studying that I do outside of work. WHICH IS EXTENSIVE.

So what does all this mean? Where am I going if you will? In the last week alone (and on a fairly regular basis since the summer) I have been offered numerous jobs. The ones in the last week are of particular significance and one in particular is interesting and offers me huge possibility.

So here I am considering what to do. Not censoring myself. Instead writing the things that are going on in my mind to try and find the answer that I am seeking. In that regard I want to state the following; Money is not a consideration. If I had been motivated by money I wouldn’t have come to this industry in the first place. I am motivated by passion and a desire to be honest. To create something beautiful. To make people happy. To learn, to teach, to inspire.

Thus, this particular offer has me wondering what to do. I will be working directly under an Executive Chef in a small kitchen. Thrown into the fire if you will. Learning eons everyday and loving it. Surely that would be the case as I only really feel truly alive (other than with C) when I am learning new things and then executing them myself.

However what is the opportunity cost? What does it cost me to leave the two teachers I have that I adore and admire? That I feel I have a lot to learn from. That I feel are kindred spirits and can certainly help to take me where I want to go. By leaving them now what is the cost to me professionally and in fact personally. What do I do?

Moreover, does the potential to become more in a shorter time span outweigh the opportunity cost? Is the opportunity so good that it can outweigh what I can learn from A and Executive Chef and the Director of Operations?

Unfortunately, hence the reason that I am writing this; I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know what to do. What I do know is that the restaurant industry is transient. People come and people go.

So the questions I have; if I were to leave is the work solid? Am I going to learn more? Am I going to be able to apply what I learn? What would be my role? What would the dynamic be? But ultimately for me the question is does the opportunity serve my ultimate desire to be a great Chef?

So this is what I am considering right now? What are you considering?

Seneca once said; “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

An old Chinese Proverb states; “The Gods cannot help those who do not seize opportunities”

So what do I do? I plan on speaking with A about all the things that I am considering as well as a few other people. Ultimately I have to do what is best for me. For what I want. For where I am going!

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

Ultimately I think the most appropriate quote I can use here is from Winston Churchill; “There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”

A la prochaine

SDM