Insubordination (file under ME?)

According to Oxford the definition of the word insubordinate is;

in·sub·or·di·nate / ˌinsəˈbôrdn-it/
• adj. defiant of authority; disobedient to orders: an insubordinate attitude.

I found myself the other day being written up for insubordination. Several days have passed since the incident as I needed to have time to think this post out thoughtfully. I censor myself a bit now that I know that I am being read by people I work with as well as the Chefs. I wanted to write a heartfelt diatribe expressing how pissed off I was about this. Well I can say now that I am glad that I gave myself time to think.

The incident relates to another wedding that was being had on Friday night. I was put on the carving station which this night had me cutting tenderloins. The meat was not cutting properly and was shredding as I tried to cut it. As such I had to cut slightly larger pieces in order to avoid the issue.

Chef J came out and said quietly that I had to cut it thinner. I tried to explain to him that the meat was not cutting well and that in order to avoid the problem I cut it the size that it would let me cut it. He came out again a few minutes later and repeated his request. Naturally I have people in my line and am not really able to express the problem. After the first four tenderloins the problem seemed to go away and everything seemed to be fine. But I guess for Chef J the damage was already done.

I broke down everything and got ready to leave for the night asking Chef J if there was anything else. I saw the piece of paper on his desk and knew right away that I was being written up.

He hands me the paper and on the top all I see is the word insubordination. I was seething at this point. I asked him if he even knew the meaning of the word. As I was not being willfully disobedient and sometimes things happen that are out of our control. I told him that I strongly objected to the use of the word, signed the paper and left work feeling like I could kill someone.

I am glad that I left myself a few days before writing this. At least as I write I am calm.

In the end I know that I was not insubordinate. But it is just another case of me having to deal with the circumstances of my employment. It does go to show you how differently the world can be viewed by two people though.

I don’t like being written up. AT ALL! In the end do I feel like I merited this write up. NOT AT ALL! But in the end that is not my call and there are real lessons that I have taken away from this that will aid me going forward.

Ambrose Bierce once wrote; “DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.” I include this quote with the same humour with which it was written.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM