The Saga Continues… (file under continuation of To be Perfectly Frank (file under ARE YOU SERIOUS))

Anyone that knows me knows that the holidays are an incredibly tough time for me. There are numerous reasons for this that are outside the usual reasons that people don’t like the holidays. The first is that I have enormous amounts of guilt that well up around Christmas and around February. Though it has gotten better with time, there still remains, the remnants of a guilt and a pain that stays with me. I am going to make a concerted effort this year to leave it where it is.

However, I have to say, as I said in my post about Christmas, this year did not feel very Christmassy to me. And no I am not bemoaning Santa nor sugarplum fairies. Instead for the first time in a long time it just didn’t feel like Christmas. And please don’t read that I didn’t enjoy the company that I was with for Christmas because that wasn’t the case either.

Instead I got to begin my Christmas, as the above titled post suggests a less than stellar tongue lashing from the owner of my restaurant. And yes, the saga continues. Today after I was done work (truthfully I don’t even know what the purpose of being open was but not my call) Chef said that he wanted to see me before I went. I knew why and I took a deep breath as I changed.

We went out the side door and Chef asked what was up. I basically recounted for him what I did for you my readers. I told him that I felt that both my professionalism and my honour were attacked in the same breath. Anyone who knows me can tell you quite clearly that there are two things in my adult life that I am very proud of, one is my word and the other is my professionalism. I have done jobs which would make even the toughest stomached person fold. And I have done it with a smile on my face (98% of the time) and always acted in the highest possible professional standard. Thus when someone attacks my professionalism I am left at odds with that person.

To make matters even worse. I have a bad back. If I was Sir Smoke a Lot in “Half Baked” believe me the doctor would say that I need a backiotomy. I have a sciatic nerve pinch. This is a condition which usually causes extreme pain down one leg or the other from the coxic to the heel. Well I have the great fortune of suffering from pain in both anytime there is a ten degree jump in less than a twenty four hour period. It is excruciating and today it is killing me.

Thus while we are having the conversation it was plain as day on my face that I was both pissed at the situation and in incredible amounts of pain. As we spoke I made it quite plain that I felt I had been wronged. He made it plain as day that it is okay for me to feel that way but that I need to be able to swallow certain things. LIKE WHAT, should I bend over too? It is one thing to attack a persons professionalism if it is warranted BUT IT IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT MATTER TO ATTACK ONES CHARACTER.

I pointed out to Chef that while I feel I have been treated less than stellar in other circumstances in my culinary career never have I felt so angry, so jaded, so wronged as I did in this case. A talking down to, in a very inappropriate way, in front of my colleagues. INAPPROPRIATE. He did agree that I have had an exceptional culinary learning. That I am a quick study and super intelligent. But I still had a ways to go. Of course I agreed. I said that even forty years from now I will have more to learn in the kitchen. But in no way does that excuse how I was treated.

So now, I need to have a conversation with the owner. Let him know how I feel and then react to how he responds. I am already quite sure of how he will respond. At which point I have two choices, to continue working in an environment where the owner has no respect for either me as a person or as an employee OR TO LEAVE. Chef made it very clear that HE knows I can leave there tomorrow and get a job at any restaurant in the city. In truth the only thing that keeps me there currently is my professionalism and my respect for Chef.

So again, at Christmas time, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth. I am left considering my immediate future and my long term strategy to get to where I want to go. Who knew the kitchen would have so much to do with politics and chess?

I apologize, I think I just needed to vent now so I don’t fume tomorrow.

The Scottish writer William Shenstone once wrote; “Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.”

True.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM