Henry David Thoreau once wrote; “I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favour in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”
I embarked on this journey approximately 435 days ago. That amount to 10,440 hours, 626,400 Minutes or 37,584,000 seconds. This journey is not an easy one. In fact, it is one that I’m sure (though not myself) many have considered, have dipped their toe in, and have decided to forego because the path was uneven, rough and even painful at points. Every day, every minute, every second that has passed has revealed more of myself to me. Every one of those incredible numbers has brought me closer to a deeply personal revelation, a deeper and personal understanding of the reason for my life. It has made me feel like I am a man, searching, finding and then searching again, for the answers that have long haunted me. I believe, as the Thoreau quote above states quite plainly, that my decision, has brought me to a paradigm shift in my own life, one that I could not imagine a short few years ago, AND THE BEST PART IS, that it is the result of a fervent desire to be happy on a daily basis.
I have now worked for three restaurants in my professional cooking career. I have toiled, sweated, bled, cried, slept on floors, been up at ungodly hours, worked myself to the bone and all of it, every second, is what lead me to here.
When I met the love of my life, C, I knew instantly that there was no other woman for me. That she HAD to be my wife. That my life, had led me to her and that in a moment of unusual clarity, I knew, I had to do everything in my power to ensure that she became the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. In my humble and learned opinion, so too, was my decision to join a kitchen.
This post results from conversations that I have been having lately with members at The Club, people that know me well, friends and family, new and old and people who don’t know me from Adam. The same feeling that came over me when I first saw C, and literally I mean saw, I didn’t even now her name, is the same feeling that I had the first time I picked up my very own Mac Knife. It felt right. No, it was more, it felt like I was meant to hold one my entire life and that I had spent most of my life, fighting with myself. Fortunately however, I did make that decision, to enter a kitchen and I have not looked back since.
Many times I have expressed that it is my fervent desire and dedicated goal to have my own restaurant by the time I am 40. This gives me 2078 days, 49879 hours, 2,992,754 or 1,795,565,266 seconds as of the writing of this post. I know at least in broad strokes what it will look like. I know for certain the name. I have an inkling as to the food. But, I feel, for the first time in my life, that my decisions are being based in a grounded way, in making that a reality.
For the past few weeks I have been having great conversations with Members early in the morning. Apparently they have been asking Executive Chef about me as well and my political experience came up today. I spoke candidly, but guardedly, about my experiences. One of the questions I got was what was the best line I ever wrote politically. It took me a moment and I had to go out and smoke before I could answer the question. I came back and said to Mr. S that while this was not for a politician it was my favourite line; “I have used illiteracy and crack with the same force of destruction as I have an M-16.” Without hesitation he held out his hand and said something to the effect of; “Fucking incredible.” He asked about my other experiences and I was open, still guarded, but open and told him. I told him I had climbed into Trash Compactors and cleaned them in order to live. I told him that I have done many things that most people would not as I felt that my survival was more important that what I did. I’d always felt that way and always would.
I told him a bit about my family. About where I’d come from. About my Mother and her mission in Malawi with www.lifelinemalawi.com. About my brothers and sisters. My impending wedding etc. He and another at the table asked if they could come. To which I said it was going to be in Cuba. He said great. And then asked if he could pay for the flowers.
I should point out that all of this took place over two conversations this morning and took a total of less than ten minutes. He then asked about my restaurant and I told him I wasn’t there yet. I had told him the other morning that I was using my experience at The Club as a test kitchen for my eventual restaurant which he loved. Today he took it one step further and said that he and another gentlemen sitting at the table would be very upset if I did not give them an audience and the right of first refusal to be investors, “the investors,” in my restaurant. I’m sure I was blushing at this point. I assured him I would definitely give him an audience. He asked if I had given any thought to the name and when I told him the name he again lifted his hand and laughing hysterically repeated his request. I assured him when the time was right, but that for now, I had to continue doing what I was doing at The Club.
So how does all of this lead to the title of the post?
As is stated much better than I ever could in Thoreau’s quote; “that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” I never dreamed that The Club would lead to someone taking an active interest in me. I never expected to meet someone humble and interested in the world around them. I did however expect to grow as a cook. To expand my offerings! To work towards the realization of my dreams. And now I feel that all I need to do is to continue doing what I am. AND IT IS SO EASY! My passion shows, my love of food shows, my character is an asset for the first time in my life and not a detriment.
I have found a calmness I have never known in my life. A joy that is seldom experienced, by anyone, let alone myself. And I am a richer, more wealthy, happier and more directed person for it.
All I can say is watch out world. I’m here and there is even more to come. Are you ready?
Antoine de Saint- Exupery once wrote; “If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” And I think I am…
Are you dreaming big and inspired?
A la prochaine
SDM
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Serendipity (file under My Life is Chalk Full of IT)
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1 comment:
I love that last quote, so inspiring, making perfect sense now isn't it, wow!
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