I recall that someone, somewhere once said what a long strange trip it’s been. (Of course I know who it is but liked the line.) I also seem to recall about some fear and loathing. Perhaps I should write about that in the sense of the kitchen. Though the reason that I started with the CAC effect is that to some degree that is what the kitchen is fueled on. In some cases far more than others but it is interesting. Even before I started at Reservation I was aware of this (he says dryly as he sips a Tullamore Dew in honour of his Irish Heritage, care of the Catholic Church declaring that today is because of Holy Week Saint Patrick’s Day, I wonder how Saint Patrick feels about that). At any rate I have had a topsy-turvy kind of week. Ups and downs. Successes and failures yet I keep reminding myself that this is my dream and Mama said there’d be days like these. Days like these my Mama said.
I’d also like to give a massive shout out to Mon Petit Oiseau, C, on completing her introductory course at Stella Adler. I am so proud of you you can’t even understand. Way to go and I hope you have a blast tonight my Fendi Phoenix.
Choron Sauce
To make a Choron Sauce is not as easy as it sounds. I think that most people think of a Choron Sauce as something that you just whip together and it is bound to taste good. Au contrare mon amis, Choron can be one difficult guy to sauce. Pardon the humour (save of course on Saint Patrick’s Day when everyone is Irish).
This week I made the Choron four times. Once I had it split on me. Splitting for those not in the know is when the proper binding does not take place. In this case with eggs and butter. The temperament of the sauce is such that if you undercook the eggs it tastes too eggy and is not good (especially when it is meant as a compliment to Lobster Eggs Benedict). If you overcook the egg the butter will not bind. And if you add the butter too quickly and not whisking vigorously enough you might as well let the chickens come home to roost because your sauce is going to be CRAP. I did manage to make two this week that held all through service. Once Exec Chef said to me that it wasn’t too bad and the other time that it was pretty good. In making the sauce all the time now I am beginning to find the right acidity level and approximating the cooking times of the eggs to create the best environment for the butter to bind. By the way, we are not talking about a little bit of butter. I need to convince, cajole and placate the eggs in order to take in a full pound to a pound and a half of butter. Think it’s easy. Feel free to give it a try. Let me know how it works for you. As an aside, all the recipes I’ve seen on the Internet are not the way that we do it at Reservation.
My Hands
My hands have always been my lifeblood. At least in some way. Whether it was writing or delivering garbage bins, I have always used my hands. BUT NEVER like I do now. My hands constantly ache. I imagine that the pain is akin to osteoarthritis. They are consistently sore and I believe that it is because my hands are using muscles they have not used and certainly not to the same degree that they are used now. I peel hundreds of pounds of potatoes each week, at least one hundred pounds carrots, I chop, carve, cut, peel, slice, julienne, brunoise and that is just the tip of the iceberg. Please don’t take what I’m saying as complaining either because it certainly isn’t. It is merely acknowledging openly the pain connected with my dream. I am also certain that the pain will subside as time goes on. As the muscles get stronger. Just for now, it is quite interesting as it even hurts to pick up a pen and anyone that knows my history would know that my life has been riddled by the pain of not being able to pick up a pen. TRUE FACT!
Garde Manger
I WANT TO BE GARDE MANGER ASAP! I work each day paying attention to the Mise En Place. The way that things are done. Plating. Speed. Detail! I know that I am an apprentice cook but I have undertaken a very serious thing here. MY DREAMS! My hopes. My aspirations and I work each day toward them. It is my fervent wish to be the Garde Manger by the time the summer comes. This week I really wanted to get in there and plate some stuff but unfortunately (fortunately though in terms of work) we have a couple of students in for their co-op. In fact it is interesting because S, the Garde Manger, has taken the female co-op student under her wing and it has made it more difficult for me to step up to the plate.
I even remarked to both Head and Executive Chef today that I am itching to get to the line. To contribute even more than I already am. “Put me in the game coach. I’m ready!” Instead this week due to the circumstances I felt more like a Hanson in Slap Shot; “I go to the box, I feel shame.”
Butternut Squash Soup fort 190 People
Tonight there is an event at Reservation. One of the dishes is a Roasted Butternut Squash Soup. I stepped up to the plate yesterday and decided that I was going to make the soup. I didn’t ask nor did I wait for someone to tell me. I assumed the roll as I feel that that is the way that you advance inside the restaurant industry. I did ask how to go about making the soup but not much more. As it turns out I produced about 100 litres and it was a little thin. Ends up that the cream that I added is supposed to thicken the soup. However, as I was worried about volume being given conflicting answers as to the yield that I required I did water it down a bit. C, can tell you that the roasted Butternut Squash Soup that I make at home has an awesome consistency, is thick and much to my surprise is not far from the recipe used at Reservation. And I have never looked at a recipe (until recently). Much of today was spent reducing the soup and thickening it up by J (the Poissonier). Have any of you tried to make 70 litres of soup before?
My Joy and My Dream
Everyday I get better at what I am doing. I understand the concepts and the principles. As I said in an earlier post. I have never been good with rules, but principles on the other hand I have never had a problem with. I am more comfortable with Canapés, the line, prep, receiving and the kitchen environment. I have started to put my head down, nose to the grindstone, whatever you want to term it so that my work speaks for itself. Oh sure I will still laugh with L and others but I want to be respected, taken seriously and acknowledged by my peers as someone that is serious and will eventually own restaurants.
I now know joy beyond anything I have ever known. I wake up each day whether with two hours sleep or sixteen with a Cheshire Cat grin. Confidant in the knowledge that I am in the right place. Working with the right people and for the first time in my life dedicating myself to the right thing. A funny thing happened on the way to my dream. I’ve said this a few times but it is absolutely true. A funny thing did happen to me on the way to my dream. I found myself. I exposed my innards with devoted honesty; I looked myself in the mirror and took great time exploring who I was, what I wanted and what I wanted to be. Not for anyone else but myself. Everyday, I wake with a joy that I assumed was reserved for someone other than me. But no more.
Studying
All of my free time is spent either studying or sleeping. This week I did a couple of experiments and learned from them. I finished Michel Bras’ “Essential Cuisine” and found myself asking all kinds of questions related not only to food but also my future. I read voraciously, as anyone who know me can tell you. I am now applying all the knowledge that my mother rammed into my hard head and yes even some of my fathers too. It is funny how a thought about Plato’s Cave can lead to a realization about Choron, or Veal Stock or Remi. I find that the more I study the more questions I have. The more knowledge I seek the more holes I realize are there and it EXCITES me, it alleviates my fears and drives me ever forward. I know that some are expecting at Reservation that I will break, I will stop being happy, or enjoying what I’m doing but only C and I have a clear picture of what the future holds. And that is because we are active participants in our lives. That and you can make the decision to be happy, to enjoy what you’re doing (as long as it is truly what you want to do). I live for today because I know that thinking the future will be better is stupid. The future is grounded in the steps I take today. AND YOU TOO.
Tonight I am reading Nigel Didcock’s “Capturing the Spirit” (http://www.chefdb.com/nm/275/ ) his plates are gorgeous and I don’t know much more than that at the moment.
Life or something like it
In the past two months I have become a real man. I have found myself. I have realized that first step in the journey to my dream and I have found a genuine happiness that is resplendent with copious amounts of vibrant joy. As I’ve said before my only regret is that I did not start this journey earlier as so many people had tried to get me to do. C, you’ve stood by me and I appreciate it and adore you for your courage, strength and devotion. Get ready when you get home to see what my true joy looks like. I think it will surprise even you. Thanks to my family for being there for me on what seemed like an endless journey. J.M. thank you for your friendship and opening the door of possibility for my future. E, thank you for listening to J.M. Executive and Head Chefs, thank you for your faith, your belief and your chance. I strive each day to honour what you’ve enabled me to do and I look forward to the day I can have you both at my restaurant and I do think that a Petrus would be in order.
That said it is time for me to start studying but I leave you as I always do with a nugget of truth, a kernel of reason to allow you to open your pathway to your dream. Please dream inspired, big and shoot for the stars, they are ours for the taking if you are willing to work.
“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”
Are you brave enough to be too weird AND TO LIVE! Be inspired today and do something that scares the shit out of you.
A la prochaine
SDM
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