Reflections Party 1 (file under considering the last eleven months)

Peter F. Drucker once said; “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.”

I feel that this is a perfect way to frame the thoughts that I am about to express. The last eleven months of my life have been some of the most rewarding and exciting of my life. Making the decision to do with my life what I wanted was not an easy one. I know that this must sound completely ridiculous but in my life there is very little that I ever did for myself short of my partying decisions. I mean I would even hum and haw at buying myself a pair of jeans (though I do have some nice Zegna ties). Thus I have found that the past eleven months have opened me up. They have revealed to me myself in a beautiful way.

Anais Nin once said; “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” This in short is how I look at my decision to move on from Reservation. However I can not fully move on until I have taken the time to reflect on what I learned, what I was and what I became. As such, here we are my friends.

I remember thinking about making the move to the culinary world and having a great many conversations with my friends. Specifically C and a good friend of mine that opened the door for me at Reservation. For the longest time I had been throwing lavish dinner parties. Every one of my friends always said that I should be doing this with my life and I always gave some excuse as to why I was not. Even in high school all of my friends who would be around when I was cooking felt as if I should be cooking. I too felt that way but in some way I could not bring myself to do it. Perhaps it was fear of success. Failure. Uncertainty. Who knows but I never did. Thus when I did finally make the decision, which was around this time last year, I started having conversations with friends and family to get their input. Everyone was gung ho for the idea. Sort of anyway. But more than their opinions (which of course I value highly) I knew that I had to do something for myself.

When I entered Reservation on the day of my interview I was uncertain about so much. My life. My direction. Everything was up in the air. Predominantly because I wanted to find that nugget or kernel of personal truth that would bring me happiness. That elusive abstract that we all search for that can easily be found if we look into ourselves and answer honestly the questions that so few of us want to.

Speaking with then Executive Chef I remember that our conversation was an exciting one. He laid out for me in that interview what the next little while was going to be like and I’m sure I looked like a deer in the headlights. After we had decided that I was going to fit there it was right into the kitchen to see where it was I was going to be working. This of course was done with Head Chef, who walked me through after we had spoken. I remember going home that night feeling as if something wonderful had just begun.

Truly my time at Reservation was wonderful. I went from being a home chef with a moderate knowledge of how cooking works to where I am today. In those first months I felt truly alive. I felt as if I was learning a ridiculous amount in a short period of time. I mean if I were to lay out here in a list form the things that I learned it would probably fill the next seven pages.

Instead I would like to merely say that I feel I take from Reservation the fundamentals of both cooking and kitchen culture that will follow me everywhere I go. I started with stock which of course was a wonderful beginning because a good stock is the foundation of every great sauce. It seems so basic and yet it such an elemental part of cooking that I am forever grateful for it.

Of course from there I started working with prep. I must have sliced and diced, cut and brunoised at least a few tones of vegetables. The prep work invariably causes you to get better with your knife handling as well as your food handling. You gain speed and precision and become much more aware of things that before seemed foreign or even unseen to you.

From my early days in prep I began to handle more and more full out function prep with the exception of cutting proteins. (This was something that I tried to address numerous times but was shut down every time I tried). A part of me can understand the lack of their wanting me to cut proteins and yet another part of me feels that I could have been much more useful to them if they had enabled me to learn this in a practical sense.

I learned scale. Scale is important, as you are not going to make a sauce the same way for three hundred as you would for say fifty. Nor are you going to prepare a salad the same way. Therefore I would say that it was a very valuable learning that I took with me in that respect.

I learned how to create recipes and record them. I know that this sounds kind of silly but at no time was I given a formal recipe book. I was shown how to do something once and then pretty much left to my own devices. As such I had to teach myself how to make something taste the same regardless of the number of people that I made it for. This takes incredible skill (and no I’m not patting myself on the shoulder).

I learned how to minimize waste. To maximize product. To use my senses. All of them. I learned that certain things can not be learned from a book. They have to be experienced and then from that experience fine tuned.

I learned how to clean. Again this may sound silly but I assure you its not. Ask C. She’ll tell you that I was not very much into cleaning at all. But A pounded it into my head very early on that a messy station equals a messy mind. As such I became very good at cleaning. Moreover, a kitchen must be clean as it is a reflection of the standards of that kitchen.

The Grill. I learned how to open, set up and tear down a station. I learned how to organize and to accept and fulfill orders. I learned how to deal with customers. I learned how to laugh at myself. I began to develop a tougher skin as in the kitchen there is no room for wimps. You need to be emotionally, physically and lyrically tough.

I also learned about pride of ownership. How to be the best I can everyday. How to erase things quickly from your mind and not brood when things don’t go your way. How to learn from your mistakes and treat them as an opportunity for growth.

These are but some of the things I have learned. I know that in the coming weeks I will have much more to add to this which is why I call it part one.

Walt Whitman once said; “Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you?”

I end this post with that quote because there is more to come to which that corresponds.

Are you dreaming big and inspired?

A la prochaine

SDM