It all depends on whom you speak to really. How are you my loyal readers? I am well. Tired. Drawn and feeling like I have been wasted for a year. Yesterday the sun was so treacherously hot that I truly felt as if Cerberus had hit me. Fortunately today I feel as if it was just a little case of sunstroke. Though Cerberus still haunts my dreams a bit currently.
I took a brief interlude there to pour my self a nice glass of Shiraz. There is something extremely civilized about having a glass of wine while I write these posts. When I get the chance that is.
I worked the grill all weekend. It started on Friday with me arriving at work an hour late. It was an honest mistake and I made up the hour the next morning anyway. When I arrived, as I had said in my post last week, I sought out the Director of Operations and asked him about getting my life saving certification and a defibrillator on site. The life saving he had no problem with and in terms of the defibrillator he told me that we did have one on site. That caused me to start playing the what if game with regard to what happened last Tuesday (http://newbieintheweeds.blogspot.com/2008/07/grill-file-under-im-not-mcdonalds.html ).
Cerebrally, which I have never had a problem with, I can intellectually understand that I did everything that I could. Emotionally is a whole other can of worms and one which I have promised myself that I will purge in the coming week. I have never been one to deal with death well and of course when it confronts you other things also pop into your psyche and cause you to consider other events of the same magnitude. I know there was nothing else I could have done that would have made an impact.
Although that is true, when I came into work on Friday I found that the gentleman, whose name was David, wheelchair was still in the garage area that I work. At first when I saw it I wanted to break down and cry. But I held back. I know that it must sound a little pedantic that the sight of the wheelchair would make me upset but who likes to be reminded of death forty times a day as they are going about their work. I certainly don’t. The saucier K, who sensing my discomfort, was kind enough to put linen over it, though that too was pretty spooky. But now I want to move beyond this event and speak about this weekend.
Friday, care of being late, I was a little behind the eight ball. My station was as I had left it on Tuesday night. As such I had to make sure that the fridges were turned over, plugged back in, brought back to temperature and restocked. That in and of itself is quite a tall order. The “ice cream” fridge as I’ve taken to calling it (not because I’m clever but instead because it is an Old Nestle fridge) can hold up to nine cases of six bag each of French fries (sorry America I still call them French, though freedom does have a nice ring to it). It can also hold four cases of two bags each of chicken fingers and one case of empanadas. I had to make Quesadillas, which I never got around to as well as make some hot beef sandwiches.
The process of setting the station and preparing the Mise en Place is not overly taxing, it is just time consuming and truth be told my head was not really in the game on Friday. Of course they wanted me to be open by five o’clock and I think I was finally set by five thirty.
Friday was smooth though mentally I was challenged and did not want to be there. It seemed cruel and unusual to me and in every sense very much a Daliesque surrealism that stretched my limits as a human first and a cook second. I was quite grateful when the night had ended and though I did not get pounded I did prepare for it.
Saturday I was scheduled for 12 but as I had come in late the day before I came in early to ensure that all my Mise en Place was ready. Although I had gotten there early it is virtually impossible to set up the station in only an hour. I was finally set by about one pm and ready to go.
I was extremely busy on Saturday. I had to call for help at one point because I had more than thirty five chits and found myself so deep in the weeds that for a moment I thought I could understand what it was like for Moses. M arrived and we quickly pulled me out of the weeds which felt great. I did more than 1200 distinct orders on Saturday. At one point I had no chicken fingers and orders for 17 batches of them, on top of which I had four pulled pork, three hamburgers, three nachos and two fries. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Of course most people are good natured and recognize that I have only two hands and that I am only capable of so much. Some people make the comment that I should have a helper, others complain and some are just downright rude as I will express to you now.
At the height of my day I had about fifteen chits on the board and about three quarters of them were multiple orders. I had a middle aged woman who was married to a man who appeared to be Arab or Iraqi. He was well dressed and seemed to be f the upper crust. They had children that were with them and were clearly hungry. From the moment that they handed me the chit to the moment that the rudeness began was less than sixty seconds. Of course, good naturedly, I told them that I was not McDonald’s and that there is only so much that I can do with these two hands. But I was more than happy, I advised them, to make them smile and of course sarcasm is free. Well, with that, to say that she became indignant would be less than accurate. She was downright vitriolic and her venom would usually have affected me had I not noticed her husband shrinking faster than a Lilliputian at the sight of Gulliver. Of course when I finally had dealt with the order her attitude expressed well its about time. I looked at the chit as I punched it, it had been eight minutes from the moment they ordered to the moment I put it in her fat little fingers. Internally I was thinking where is Cerberus when you need him. At any rate, most people take it all in stride and love the way that I deal with it. As I will recount for you right now.
Those of you who know me well understand that my previous existence has left me a little jaded, a whole lot cynical, but always with a smile on my face and an infectious laugh. So to go along with my McDonald’s line I always explain to people that I was only born with two hands and that unfortunately because of my cooks defect I can only move so fast. I always with a smile let people know approximately how long it is going to be and invite them to either come back or stand by as I can be quite entertaining. I would say it is about a seventy five percent to twenty five percent split. Twenty five percent stick around and talk with me, laugh jovially and always leave with a smile.
On Saturday I did have a girl come back after I had given her a burger about two hours after the fact. She looked at me and told me that she had a profound respect for what I did and that she had never had a better burger in her life. She then proceeded to give me a five dollar bill that I politely declined but she forced me to take. I said that she was being too kind and she explained that she was not. That instead in this age of instant gratification too many people don’t appreciate the simple things. She thanked me again and said that she would be back again. It was my second tip that I have ever gotten there.
I do have five or six repeat customers. One is an Iranian who I always end up talking about Iran and the state of world affairs. He is a tenured professor with a degree in applied physics. Though we often disagree, as I come from a schooled political point of view and he from a personal belief we are always friendly and enjoy the five minutes we get to talk. I have another customer who only orders when I have the Tuna burger but he makes a point of getting of his bike, shaking my hand and asking how my day has been. He always offers to buy me a drink that I always say no to. I also have another man, we’ll use his name because there is no harm, Nick. Nick is a fifty one year old man who comes every week and orders a burger with his daughter Chloe and his wife and nine month old son. Nick orders the burger and Chloe diligently watches as I make it. We always chat for a few minutes and this weekend I got his recent history. Nick had a quadruple bypass which has left his wife shaken and him concerned about his children. We spoke for about ten minutes this weekend as I was preparing food. I felt for his wife and his children but was hopeful that all his problems are behind him.
It is too easy to become a robot doing what I am doing. I think that so many people get to what I am doing and just go through the motions. But, one of the things that I am grateful for, is that although I am new to the kitchen, I, unlike everyone else, have to face my customer each and every moment. I get to see their joy or their dislike of my food. I get to speak with them, to feel them, to understand who they are and why they are in front of me. I am not nor have I ever been a robot. Though I am becoming a robot in the sense that I can produce what is expected of me.
Sunday was relatively easy though it still had some moments. My next post is going to deal with some of the emotional things that I am considering at the moment as well as some generalities with what I am doing.
For some reason I feel that this is an appropriate quote to end with. Dante Alighieri once said; “The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crises maintain their neutrality”. Something I never have or will do.
Are you dreaming inspired? And big? Do you know where today will lead? Remember we are promised nothing so appreciate life for what it is, an ill defined finite moment that can be gone, just like…
A la prochaine,
SDM
Monday, July 7, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Life and Death (file under general thoughts)
I’m going to touch on my last post again for a moment as I am trying to get rid of the thoughts that are haunting me at the moment.
Life is a gift that we all share. Many of us live our everyday without thinking about how quickly it can change and more importantly end. We are living in a blissful oblivion thinking to some degree that we are invincible, that it can’t happen to us. Well one of the harsh things that has occurred to me the last couple of days is that out of death life goes on. IT marches on oblivious to death. It just keeps going.
Life is a treasure and I hope that you all treat your life that way. Of course there are the destructive things that we do to ourselves, and without getting into them, I hope that you all realize, as I have that it all can be gone… just like that.
I realized last year that I had spent my life in the pursuit of some empty goal. Some ill defined landscape that was nothing but abstract strokes even to me. Now that I am on this journey the abstract strokes have become vibrant impressions of the life I choose to live and the way I’ve chosen to live out my days. It is not an easy road but it is one which I know that I was built for. It is one that I believe I can make an impression in the world and still maintain what has been my guiding principle.
At any rate, I just wanted to say that to end of my last post after thinking about it a bit more.
Henry David Thoreau once said; “Things do not change; we change.” And I find that in this past six months I have changed more than I ever thought possible.
Define your life not by what others think. Define it by what you want it to be and then pursue it with all the energy you have. There can be no great success without great sacrifice and effort. Are you willing to sacrifice and struggle to attain what you hold most dear? Remember life is short. Are you going to live your life?
A la prochaine
SDM
Life is a gift that we all share. Many of us live our everyday without thinking about how quickly it can change and more importantly end. We are living in a blissful oblivion thinking to some degree that we are invincible, that it can’t happen to us. Well one of the harsh things that has occurred to me the last couple of days is that out of death life goes on. IT marches on oblivious to death. It just keeps going.
Life is a treasure and I hope that you all treat your life that way. Of course there are the destructive things that we do to ourselves, and without getting into them, I hope that you all realize, as I have that it all can be gone… just like that.
I realized last year that I had spent my life in the pursuit of some empty goal. Some ill defined landscape that was nothing but abstract strokes even to me. Now that I am on this journey the abstract strokes have become vibrant impressions of the life I choose to live and the way I’ve chosen to live out my days. It is not an easy road but it is one which I know that I was built for. It is one that I believe I can make an impression in the world and still maintain what has been my guiding principle.
At any rate, I just wanted to say that to end of my last post after thinking about it a bit more.
Henry David Thoreau once said; “Things do not change; we change.” And I find that in this past six months I have changed more than I ever thought possible.
Define your life not by what others think. Define it by what you want it to be and then pursue it with all the energy you have. There can be no great success without great sacrifice and effort. Are you willing to sacrifice and struggle to attain what you hold most dear? Remember life is short. Are you going to live your life?
A la prochaine
SDM
The Grill (file under I’m not McDonald’s)
My loyal readers let me just tell you that working the grill for five days straight is enough to make anyone crazy. Of course when I saw the weather forecast I was excited at the thought that I might get a little break from it. But of course, what other profession can you be wrong sixty percent of the time and people still like you. Sometimes I think it must be great to be a weatherman.
Sunday started off brilliantly. As I got to work my bones were killing which is usually a sign that the rain is coming. Sure enough I started getting my prep ready and the skies opened up. I went to the Director of Operations and asked him what the plan was and he told me that he was closing me for the day no matter what happened. Of course I was glad that I would get to be inside working brunch acting as a runner. But as soon as brunch was close to being over the rethought their decision and decided that I would be open in an hour.
To give me an hour to get the grill station ready is not nearly enough time. Fortunately head Chef decided that I would be running a limited menu. That did cut down the prep time significantly but it was still a tall order to get me out in an hour. I think it ended up being an hour and twenty minutes. I was a little miffed at opening as I felt as if the sky was going to open up again at any minute but in fact it ended up being a fairly busy afternoon and after the first rush at five, I had another at seven thirty and then it slowed down significantly.
Monday was crazy. We had a private party for the International Language Academy of Canada. 700 kids, who are all learning English as a second language. At first Head Chef had said that it would be W and I working the grill alone. Within a few minutes it was obvious that we would not be able to do it alone. As such L and D came out and we started moving very well together. It really was like an assembly line which basically looked like this;
One of us was putting down the baskets that we would put the food into. We were doing this twenty five or more at a time. The next person would follow putting the buns into place. The third was putting down the lettuce and tomato as well as handing out the food and taking tickets. Of course L, being the machine that he is was working the grill and placing he burgers down on the buns. This mad rush continued for almost three and a half hours. NON STOP. It takes a lot out of you running at that speed. Not only were we doing burgers but we also had chicken fingers and fries as well as Empanadas. All of this done with one grill and one fryer. It was madness but we all kept our cool and got things done quite effectively. I loved having L out there with me because he and I can say things like left and right and the other knows immediately that the other is talking about. We work exceptionally well together.
By the time I was finished on Monday I got home around 2:15 am and then had to be back at work for Canada Day at 11 am.
Canada Day. First off Happy 141 Birthday Canada. I love this country and the many opportunities it has given not just to me but to all those who have come to this great country. I hope you all had a great day. Mine was a roller coaster which ended very badly emotionally.
The day started easy enough. I par cooked burgers and started moving over all the prep that M and I were doing. Again we were running a limited menu with Hotdogs, Sausages, Burgers, Chicken Fingers and Empanadas. None of us thought that we would be overly busy but man were we wrong. We were almost as busy as my six hundred order day. Almost but not quite. M and I worked well together once we found our rhythm.
The day was going smooth enough and I even got to have a cigarette or two. Most of the people that we work with were on site enjoying themselves and Canada Day. Head Chef was there, as was Director of Operations, A and lots of Front of House staff. Everyone was truly enjoying the weather, the music and of course the booze. I was having an alright day right up until around 5:50 pm.
There was a man in a wheel chair who was on site. I had seen him a few times throughout the day. His wife came to get a hot dog from us. It was a hot and humid day and she and her husband were spending time in the sun. After they had eaten I watched as the passed my station and I could see that something was just not right. I looked at the security guard and he sensed what I was looking at. I felt around in my pocket as my spidey sense was going off. Sure enough a few moments later someone came up and said that the man was in distress. Without missing a beat I opened my phone and dialed 911, the time was 5:58pm. I arrived where the gentleman was only as few moments later and could see that his eyes had rolled back in his head and that his tongue was sticking out. I relayed to 911 all the pertinent information and tried to take his pulse while a nurse that happened to be there started doing CPR in his chair. We decided that it would be better to get the gentlemen out of the chair and continue CPR. I directed the Security Guard to go to the entrance to guide the emergency vehicles in. I stayed on the line with 911 but was not feeling a pulse at all where only moments before it was there but really faint. He began to turn purple and I knew at that moment that it was too late. There was nothing that anyone could do for him at that point. I immediately made sure to get the wife sitting down and drinking a bottle of water trying to console her letting her know everyone was doing everything they could do. 911 thanked me for my calm and cool and let me know that I should just continue doing what I was and that it was okay for me to get off the line now that responders were on site.
I informed the emergency responders all the pertinent information and watched as they quickly transferred him to a stretcher while trying to get him breathing and clearing his passageway. I also made sure that security pushed everyone back from the scene.
After a couple of minutes they had moved him to the ambulance but I knew it was too late. I knew he was gone. I knew that he had gone as I was taking his pulse. But in an effort to maintain the relative calmness I said nothing.
I remember this one man, a complete asshole, who was wearing red biking shorts and a jersey who was in the way of the responders trying to tell them how to do their job. It’s funny what you recall at moments like that. I remember that I wanted to knock him out just to get him out of the way.
I lit a cigarette and waited for a responder to come and ask me a few questions. I asked what we should do with the wheelchair after identifying myself. She asked if we had somewhere that we could put it. I said yes and instructed site security to take it there. The effects of what had just happened had not really hit me yet.
The Director of Operations came over and asked me to give a statement to security. Which I did when he came over to me at the grill. The last thing I wanted to do after watching life fade away in front of me was sling burgers to somebody. I walked over to where Head Chef and everyone else was and said that I was going to have a smoke. I went into the cubby hole where we keep the ice machine, took off my hat and lit a smoke.
What goes through your head at moments like this. For me, no stranger to death, I started feeling badly for the wife. I felt badly that I could not do more. I felt horrible that I had in some way contributed to his death (not in reality but it is how I felt). I was reminded of my own mortality and how quickly it all can just go away.
D, who works front of house, walked up to me and could see that I was not in a great mental place and he said to me what does this tell us. That none of us are promised anything.
I finished my smoke and went back to work. Though I didn’t want to. I wanted to curl up into a little ball and start crying. I wanted to release all this angst, tension and thought that was balled up inside of me. I wanted to punch a wall. I wanted to punch the guy in the biking shorts. No I think I wanted to head butt him but you get the idea.
I spent the better part of the next five hours that I was working thinking about the events that transpired. I was really upset. Still today I am really upset. A and Head Chef tried to take my mind off of the events by really laying into me. A more than Head Chef, but as it was happening all I could think of was how someone died in my arms, effectively anyway. And how useless I felt. How there was nothing I could do differently. Though I took everything that was being said to me in stride I was in some sado-masochistic way grateful to not be thinking about the man on the cobblestones who died in front of me.
I did everything I could. I say this by way of not trying to convince you but myself. I am asking my employers tomorrow when I go back to work to pay for me to get my Life saving certification and to get a defibrillator on site. I feel with a defibrillator I could have saved him. But maybe that is just what I’m thinking and it is not true. But nonetheless I do plan on asking tomorrow.
So as you can all see I had quite a weekend. It was, quite the example of the ups and downs of the industry I have chosen to be in.
Another post is imminently coming. For now;
Marcus Aurelius once said; “Death hangs over thee, While thou still live, while thou may, do good” It’s how I feel. But I can still do good.
A la prochaine
SDM
Sunday started off brilliantly. As I got to work my bones were killing which is usually a sign that the rain is coming. Sure enough I started getting my prep ready and the skies opened up. I went to the Director of Operations and asked him what the plan was and he told me that he was closing me for the day no matter what happened. Of course I was glad that I would get to be inside working brunch acting as a runner. But as soon as brunch was close to being over the rethought their decision and decided that I would be open in an hour.
To give me an hour to get the grill station ready is not nearly enough time. Fortunately head Chef decided that I would be running a limited menu. That did cut down the prep time significantly but it was still a tall order to get me out in an hour. I think it ended up being an hour and twenty minutes. I was a little miffed at opening as I felt as if the sky was going to open up again at any minute but in fact it ended up being a fairly busy afternoon and after the first rush at five, I had another at seven thirty and then it slowed down significantly.
Monday was crazy. We had a private party for the International Language Academy of Canada. 700 kids, who are all learning English as a second language. At first Head Chef had said that it would be W and I working the grill alone. Within a few minutes it was obvious that we would not be able to do it alone. As such L and D came out and we started moving very well together. It really was like an assembly line which basically looked like this;
One of us was putting down the baskets that we would put the food into. We were doing this twenty five or more at a time. The next person would follow putting the buns into place. The third was putting down the lettuce and tomato as well as handing out the food and taking tickets. Of course L, being the machine that he is was working the grill and placing he burgers down on the buns. This mad rush continued for almost three and a half hours. NON STOP. It takes a lot out of you running at that speed. Not only were we doing burgers but we also had chicken fingers and fries as well as Empanadas. All of this done with one grill and one fryer. It was madness but we all kept our cool and got things done quite effectively. I loved having L out there with me because he and I can say things like left and right and the other knows immediately that the other is talking about. We work exceptionally well together.
By the time I was finished on Monday I got home around 2:15 am and then had to be back at work for Canada Day at 11 am.
Canada Day. First off Happy 141 Birthday Canada. I love this country and the many opportunities it has given not just to me but to all those who have come to this great country. I hope you all had a great day. Mine was a roller coaster which ended very badly emotionally.
The day started easy enough. I par cooked burgers and started moving over all the prep that M and I were doing. Again we were running a limited menu with Hotdogs, Sausages, Burgers, Chicken Fingers and Empanadas. None of us thought that we would be overly busy but man were we wrong. We were almost as busy as my six hundred order day. Almost but not quite. M and I worked well together once we found our rhythm.
The day was going smooth enough and I even got to have a cigarette or two. Most of the people that we work with were on site enjoying themselves and Canada Day. Head Chef was there, as was Director of Operations, A and lots of Front of House staff. Everyone was truly enjoying the weather, the music and of course the booze. I was having an alright day right up until around 5:50 pm.
There was a man in a wheel chair who was on site. I had seen him a few times throughout the day. His wife came to get a hot dog from us. It was a hot and humid day and she and her husband were spending time in the sun. After they had eaten I watched as the passed my station and I could see that something was just not right. I looked at the security guard and he sensed what I was looking at. I felt around in my pocket as my spidey sense was going off. Sure enough a few moments later someone came up and said that the man was in distress. Without missing a beat I opened my phone and dialed 911, the time was 5:58pm. I arrived where the gentleman was only as few moments later and could see that his eyes had rolled back in his head and that his tongue was sticking out. I relayed to 911 all the pertinent information and tried to take his pulse while a nurse that happened to be there started doing CPR in his chair. We decided that it would be better to get the gentlemen out of the chair and continue CPR. I directed the Security Guard to go to the entrance to guide the emergency vehicles in. I stayed on the line with 911 but was not feeling a pulse at all where only moments before it was there but really faint. He began to turn purple and I knew at that moment that it was too late. There was nothing that anyone could do for him at that point. I immediately made sure to get the wife sitting down and drinking a bottle of water trying to console her letting her know everyone was doing everything they could do. 911 thanked me for my calm and cool and let me know that I should just continue doing what I was and that it was okay for me to get off the line now that responders were on site.
I informed the emergency responders all the pertinent information and watched as they quickly transferred him to a stretcher while trying to get him breathing and clearing his passageway. I also made sure that security pushed everyone back from the scene.
After a couple of minutes they had moved him to the ambulance but I knew it was too late. I knew he was gone. I knew that he had gone as I was taking his pulse. But in an effort to maintain the relative calmness I said nothing.
I remember this one man, a complete asshole, who was wearing red biking shorts and a jersey who was in the way of the responders trying to tell them how to do their job. It’s funny what you recall at moments like that. I remember that I wanted to knock him out just to get him out of the way.
I lit a cigarette and waited for a responder to come and ask me a few questions. I asked what we should do with the wheelchair after identifying myself. She asked if we had somewhere that we could put it. I said yes and instructed site security to take it there. The effects of what had just happened had not really hit me yet.
The Director of Operations came over and asked me to give a statement to security. Which I did when he came over to me at the grill. The last thing I wanted to do after watching life fade away in front of me was sling burgers to somebody. I walked over to where Head Chef and everyone else was and said that I was going to have a smoke. I went into the cubby hole where we keep the ice machine, took off my hat and lit a smoke.
What goes through your head at moments like this. For me, no stranger to death, I started feeling badly for the wife. I felt badly that I could not do more. I felt horrible that I had in some way contributed to his death (not in reality but it is how I felt). I was reminded of my own mortality and how quickly it all can just go away.
D, who works front of house, walked up to me and could see that I was not in a great mental place and he said to me what does this tell us. That none of us are promised anything.
I finished my smoke and went back to work. Though I didn’t want to. I wanted to curl up into a little ball and start crying. I wanted to release all this angst, tension and thought that was balled up inside of me. I wanted to punch a wall. I wanted to punch the guy in the biking shorts. No I think I wanted to head butt him but you get the idea.
I spent the better part of the next five hours that I was working thinking about the events that transpired. I was really upset. Still today I am really upset. A and Head Chef tried to take my mind off of the events by really laying into me. A more than Head Chef, but as it was happening all I could think of was how someone died in my arms, effectively anyway. And how useless I felt. How there was nothing I could do differently. Though I took everything that was being said to me in stride I was in some sado-masochistic way grateful to not be thinking about the man on the cobblestones who died in front of me.
I did everything I could. I say this by way of not trying to convince you but myself. I am asking my employers tomorrow when I go back to work to pay for me to get my Life saving certification and to get a defibrillator on site. I feel with a defibrillator I could have saved him. But maybe that is just what I’m thinking and it is not true. But nonetheless I do plan on asking tomorrow.
So as you can all see I had quite a weekend. It was, quite the example of the ups and downs of the industry I have chosen to be in.
Another post is imminently coming. For now;
Marcus Aurelius once said; “Death hangs over thee, While thou still live, while thou may, do good” It’s how I feel. But I can still do good.
A la prochaine
SDM
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